Not Their Blog

Best Music of the Decade

2009-12-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

For the past few months I have been thinking long and hard about this list. I've added songs, deleted songs, changed my own rules for the list and so on. Music is a huge part of my life and I often identify certain events in my life with a song. This list is my way of reflecting upon the music that helped shape my decade.

For a lot of the artists mentioned, I could have listed whole albums and been okay with my decision. I included honorable mention next to some of the songs to show that those songs could just have easily been on my list - but how interesting would a list full of David Gray, Coldplay, Sheryl Crow and the Dixie Chicks really be?

After reading this list, please tell me what I left out.

50 - La Cienega Just Smiled - Ryan Adams
49 - Van Lear Rose - Loretta Lynn
48 - I Always Liked That Best - Cyndi Thomson
47 - What It Feels Like For A Girl - Madonna
46 - Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts
45 - Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
44 - Paris - Faith Hill (Honorable Mention: Where Are You Christmas - yes, I'm serious)
43 - Wait My Turn - Moses Mayfield
42 - California - Rufus Wainwright
41 - Cable Car - The Fray
40 - Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
39 - Daughters - John Mayer
38 - I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack
37 - Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
36 - You're Beautiful - James Blunt
35 - Forever and For Always - Shania Twain
34 - Ms. Jackson - OutKast
33 - Nothing Left to Lose - Mat Kearney
32 - I Don't Want To Be - Gavin DeGraw
31 - What Was I Thinkin' - Dierks Bentley
30 - Safe and Sound - Sheryl Crow (Honorable Mention: Soak Up the Sun, Good Is Good)
29 - Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
28 - What Goes Around - Justin Timberlake
27 - I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
26 - Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
25 - If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
24 - Crystal Village - Pete Yorn (Honorable Mention: Ice Age)
23 - This Love - Maroon 5
22 - Grace Kelly - MIKA
21 - When You're On Top - The Wallflowers
20 - Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
19 - Paper Planes - M.I.A.
18 - Lose Yourself - Eminem
17 - Jolene - Ray LaMontagne (Honorable Mention: Let It Be Me)
16 - Things Have Changed - Bob Dylan (Honorable Mention: Mississippi)
15 - Hey Ya - OutKast
14 - Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
13 - Travelin' Soldier - Dixie Chicks (Honorable Mention: Not Ready To Make Nice)
12 - Babylon - David Gray (Honorable Mention: Nemesis)
11 - Umbrella - Rhianna
10 - I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
9 - Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
8 - Irreplaceable - Beyonce
7 - Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
6 - Mr. Brightside - The Killers (Honorable Mention: All These Things That I've Done)
5 - Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
4 - My City of Ruins - Bruce Springsteen
3 - Walk On - U2 (Honorable Mention: Beautiful Day)
2 - Float On - Modest Mouse
1 - Viva la Vida - Coldplay (Honorable Mention: Yellow, Clocks, In My Place, The Scientist)

Sharing new material

2009-07-08T22:42:00.003-04:00

I've been doing some writing lately and finally have something that I think is worth posting. Here's some lyrics to a song that I'm currently writing music for. I hope to keep the creative juices flowing long enough to get this recorded ... we'll see.

Denver (Key of E - 3/4)

In pitch black
Lost on a lonely back road
I changed plans
And kept moving on, who knows
What that sleepy town might have had in store

For a wide-eyed
Hungry, young soul at a time
When my dreams
Like the air that I breathed
Supplied and fueled the need
To find something more

I never did at the time
But I can’t help it now

Looking back
In no time at all
I think of those days
And I can’t remember
Looking back
I wish I’d have stopped
To see what I could
But in no time at all
I was hours past Denver
And kept moving on

In pitch black
Wishing I could turn back time
I toss and turn
In the middle of my prime
I passed up the chance
To do something undone

I was moving so fast
I couldn’t see what I missed

Looking back
In no time at all
I think of those days
And I can’t remember
Looking back
I wish I’d have stopped
To see what I could
But in no time at all
I was decades past Denver
And kept moving on

In no time at all
Keep moving on
And in no time at all
You’ll keep moving on
‘til in no time at all
Your life will be gone

Looking back
In no time at all
I think of those days
And I can’t remember
Looking back
You’ll wish you slowed down
And taken it in
To feel the surrender

In pitch black
Lost on a lonely back road
I changed plans

And the Grammy Goes To ...

2009-03-27T14:56:00.008-04:00

After reading this article, I think it's safe to predict that Elvis Costello's Secret, Profane & Sugarcane album will at the very least be nominated for Album of the Year at the 2010 Grammy Awards and will most likely be the "shocking" and "surprising" winner that no one saw coming. Just read the following quote and tell me this album is not a Grammy-voter's wet dream:

Ten of the album's tracks are new Costello compositions, including two written with Burnett (That's Grammy award winning producer T Bone Burnett - producer of last year's winning album "Raising Sand" and the "O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack, which won in 2002). One song, " I Felt The Chill," was written by Costello and Loretta Lynn, while two of the album's tracks -- "Hidden Same" and "Boom Chicka Boom -- were originally written by Costello for Johnny Cash.

You heard it here first folks. Sorry U2, you're not winning this year.

"Crazy woman meets Scandinavian man, calls him an alien and makes the news 20 years later"

2009-03-22T21:34:00.002-04:00

How this story made it to the front page of CNN online is beyond me. I guess I should call the news and tell them about that one time I found my dorm house cleaner rummaging through the dumpster and how I was terrified and convinced that she was from another planet.

I wonder if CNN was in print, whether or not this would be a story worth telling.

WEHT - Cyndi Thompson

2009-03-08T18:33:00.006-04:00

I'm debuting a new feature on my blog called, "What Ever Happened To ..." where I will profile a musician, artist, actor, athlete or anyone else that has fallen off the radar that I wish would come back. Why am I doing this? Well, mainly because I feel like it. I understand that this blog gets very little readership and that I am probably writing this for myself, but on the off chance that someone is reading this, especially someone connected to some of the artists that I am profiling, maybe I will somehow be credited for their comeback. Then, I shall have the last laugh ... mwahhahahaha mwahhahaha, okay enough. On to the first WEHT profile.

So, WEHT Cyndi Thompson? In case you don't know, Cyndi Thompson released possibly the best debut album by a country female with 2001's My World. With songs like What I Really Meant to Say, I Always Liked That Best and If You Were Mine, Thompson showed that she had an unmatched ability to make every word sound sexy as hell and write some pretty damn good songs.

After about a year on the charts Thompson wrote an open letter to her label and her fans saying that she was walking away from the recording business due to the overwhelming pressures of the industry. Who knows what really happened, but about a year ago I read that she was back on Capitol Nashville's roster only to very recently find out that she has again been dropped. Doesn't Nashville understand that there are people, especially in Southern Maryland, who are eagerly awaiting the return of Cyndi Thompson to the industry, if for no other reason than to stare at the album cover and the subsequent pictures inside? All kidding aside, Thompson's My World is one of my favorite albums of the decade and I can't wait until the day she decides to come back and release another one.

It looks like there is some good news on the horizon. Cyndi Thompson has recently started a Twitter account and there is some recent activity on her MySpace page, including a new song! In fact, there's some chatter about a new album in the spring. I'll believe it when I see it, but maybe the first WEHT profile will turn into a TGTRNTBADTMAC - thank God they read Not Their Blog and decided to make a comeback ... duh.

On Work and Buildings

2009-02-25T16:14:00.003-05:00

I am finding it necessary to discuss the conditions in which I work in order to paint a very realistic picture of what it’s like to be employed at the administrative offices of a public school system. This is not me complaining, because Lord knows I’m happy to have a stable job that I enjoy (most of the time) in these economic times. Instead, this is an agenda-free glimpse into my daytime life.

Really what I want to discuss is the building that I work in. The more and more I think about it, the more ridiculous it is. I literally work in a two-story building with only one other person, who is often out shooting video at our schools, thus leaving me alone for a majority of the day. I used to work in a building across the street where there are at least one hundred employees. After a year and a half, everyone still thinks I work in that building. They are surprised when they see that my old desk is occupied by someone else and they often say how they are jealous that I am in my “new” building. If only they knew …

The building used to be a government bomb shelter/testing facility and I’ve heard rumors that unmarked cars still visit the site regularly to “take readings” and “acquire data” from the humongous radio tower infested with blackbirds next to the building. I was also informed when I moved over here that there is a room upstairs with a large shaft that connects to a tunnel that at one point splits into two tunnels and “goes on forever.” All of this was said in a, “Can you believe it’s now an office building that you’ll be working in permanently?” type of way. No, quite frankly … I can’t believe it. The previous occupant of the building was the manager of our school system’s Indian education program/museum, who was released from the system after it was discovered that she was using the building as her own personal daycare facility. There’s really no point to this fact, other than I thought it to be a humorous little tid-bit.

Sometimes we are graced by the presence of a large group that meets upstairs. Now, I’m not sure what this group of supposed school system employees actually meets about, but I am normally subject to frequent banging, raucous laughter and the occasional echoed belch whenever they are here. Occasionally, people stumble into the office and ask if this is where they “pick up their gun” or “get their uniform.” I know you all are logically thinking that maybe they have this building confused with the police barracks close by, but I assure you, that is not the case. When my co-worker is here, we often just look at each other in sheer disbelief.

Lately, we’ve had the pleasure of having to walk to a different building to go to the bathroom because they are replacing all of the toilets and stalls in the building. I’m actually not too upset about this seeing as how our toilets were a puke/mustard/brown color with permanent brown “stains” smeared on the stall walls. But, it’s no picnic walking outside to go to the bathroom in 20-degree windy weather.

The whole reason why I moved over into this building was because the school system put money into converting several rooms into a television studio. That’s all well and good, but when I told the maintenance guys that studios are usually dark, they took me way too literally and painted every possible nook and cranny black. They also gave me only two extremely dim lights to light the entire room, failing to realize that its not customary behavior to always keep big, hot studio lights on for everyday lighting needs, like say when you’re trying to position a set piece or just tidy up the space. So I’m often left with massive pit stains in my nice shirt and tie and an attractive sweaty forehead when I need to do work in the pitch black, windowless studio. And I can’t imagine what the electricity bill is like over here.

I used to have coffee every morning in my old office. It wasn’t the greatest, but it did the trick. Someone from the old office was nice enough to give me a coffee pot when I moved over to this building. It was a very nice gesture, but in reality the coffee pot is a constant reminder that we can’t make coffee over here because the water has an orangish tint to it and tastes like what I think volcano mist would taste like. They also don’t deliver cases of Dasani bottled water over here like they do in my old office. But that’s ok, occasionally the soda machine that takes dollars only – no change – decides to work properly.

Like I said, I’m not complaining, simply stating the facts of my glamorous work conditions. If you ever catch yourself thinking, “I can’t take this cube for one more minute,” just remember your old pal Steven and try to imagine me sitting alone in this pitch-black former bomb shelter drinking water that I brought from home denying someone their right to pick up their gun.

Best Music of 2008

2008-12-18T20:35:00.018-05:00

I can't believe it's time once again for a year-end best of list. Time sure does fly. A lot happened in 2008 - historic election, a deepening recession, Britney's supposed comeback - and the list goes on. Whatever you feel about this past year, I think we can all agree that a lot of great music was made. The following are my favorites of the year.

Albums:

10) Robert Plant and Allison Krauss, Raising Sand - I bought this album, not knowing what to expect, after hearing "Killing the Blues" on JCPenney ads early on in the year. My favorites turned out to be "Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us" and "Please Read the Letter." Krauss has the voice of an angel and compliments Plant's gruff vocals and raw style.

9) John Mayer, Where the Light Is (Live) - I'm a huge Mayer fan and have been since his debut album. While this live set lacks some of his earlier work, it does a good job of capturing the energy and true musicianship that Mayer brings to the table. The nine-minute version of "Gravity" alone makes this an album worth remembering.

8) Taylor Swift, Fearless - It's no secret that I have some qualms with Swift, especially when it comes to live vocals, but this album is full of great songwriting and catchy hooks. Some of the lyrics are a little trite, but credit her for writing or co-writing every track on the album and remember, she is only eighteen. "White Horse," "Fifteen" and "The Best Day" are among my favorites on this album.

7) Flight of the Conchords, Flight of the Conchords - So, I'm cheating a little on this pick because I didn't actually buy the album, but I've seen all of the episodes of this duo's show on HBO, own the DVDs and watched as many of the live concerts on YouTube to know that the songs are absolutely hilarious. All must bow down to the awesomeness of "Bowie," "Mutha'uckas" and "Business Time." That's why they call them business socks, ya know.

6) Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things - I was so happy to hear that Mraz would be releasing his third studio album this year, though a little disappointed that his first single was a re-recording of a B-side from his so-so sophomore effort. But the new "I'm Yours" worked, and actually seemed even more relevant since he'd been out of the spotlight for a while. It also brought some freshness and relevance back to the vocally gifted singer-songwriter. Check out "A Beautiful Mess," "Details in the Fabric" and "If It Kills Me" if you have some time.

5) Gavin DeGraw, Gavin DeGraw - I have some odd hangup when an artist (other than Sheryl Crow) self-titles any album other than their first. I don't know why and I can't explain it - it just irritates me. But I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this album. Like his first, this collection can be listened to and enjoyed straight through. "In Love With A Girl" got me to buy the album, but "Let It Go" kept me listening for months.

4) The Killers, Day and Age - The Killers are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands. Lead singer Brandon Flowers is definitely quirky, especially while performing, but that quirkiness does the band well on odd, but extremely catchy tunes like "Spaceman" and "I Can't Stay." I'm particularly fond of "This Is Your Life" and the hit single "Human".

3) Sheryl Crow, Detours - I'm a little surprised with myself that I didn't automatically catapult this album to the top of my list simply because of the Crow pedigree. My one qualm with the album is that it feels like two separate albums - the first half being overly political and the second half quietly introspective. All of the songs are great and the performance on tracks like "Diamond Ring" and "Make It Go Away (Radiation Song)" will break your heart. I would love it if Sheryl would throw her pop sensibilities out the window and make a true grungy rock record next go around.

2) Kings of Leon, Only by the Night - I had never heard of this band until their September 20 performance on Saturday Night Live. I loved what I heard and bought their new album days later. I love this album! It's quiet, but loud, familiarly melodic, but unexpected and full of some great (and naughty!) lyrics ("Your sex is on fire. Consumed with what's to transpire"). "Use Somebody" and "Revelry" are my personal favs. I can't wait to explore their earlier work in the year to come.

1) Coldplay, Viva la Vida - I just don't know what to say about this album other than it's awesome and you should be listening from start to finish once a day like I've been since purchasing it in June. In addition to this album, Coldplay also released the "Prospeckt's March" EP a few weeks ago, which delivers alternative versions to some of the tracks on Viva la Vida and a few others that didn't make the album cut ("Glass of Water!"). This is a fully realized concept album that will surely go down as one of the band's best career achievements. I'll certainly be routing for them when the "Album of the Year" category is announced at this year's Grammy Awards broadcast.

Favorite Singles (in no particular order):

Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis
In Love With A Girl, Gavin DeGraw
Shattered, O.A.R.
Human, The Killers
Live Your Life, TI Featuring Rhianna
I'm Yours, Jason Mraz
Chasing Pavements, Adele
Stop and Stare, One Republic
Broken, Lifehouse
Viva la Vida, Coldplay
Love Remains the Same, Gavin Rossdale
Last Name, Carrie Underwood
You're Gonna Miss This, Trace Adkins
Sweet and Low, Augustana
Nine in the Afternooon, Panic at the Disco

Happy or Scared?

2008-11-04T23:36:00.002-05:00

Wait ... did Barack Obama just get elected president or did Godzilla attack the city of Chicago? You decide.

Ka-Ching! ... Not

2008-09-19T07:07:00.003-04:00

I will be the first to admit that I know very little about money. I've taken the advice of many and invested in 401K and 403B plans, but in all honesty, I have no idea what they are. I just know what they are supposed to do for me in the future.

What I am smart enough to grasp, however, is that this most recent financial crisis is absolutely maddening. Two days ago both presidential candidates opposed any sort of government bailout of financial giant AIG. By the end of that day, when news was announced that the government was pumping almost $600 billion to bailout AIG, both candidates changed their tune, saying that it was necessary in order for our financial system to survive.

This morning news came that the government is also going to assume almost $500 billion dollars in bad bank debt, which was created when banks practically started giving away mortgages like candy. If you're keeping tabs here, that's $1.1 TRILLION dollars that the tax payers -- yes, that's you and me -- must now pay. Math proof time -- $1.1 trillion divided by roughly 301 million Americans equals about $3,650 extra that we are going to have to pay in taxes to clean up Wall Street's mess. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have $3,650 just sitting around. How does the government suggest we pay this when gas prices are at record levels, the price to heat and cool our homes keeps rising, a gallon of milk is $4.50, and employers can't even promise to keep up with the COLA - or that you will even have a job next year - due to budget cuts?

This whole system just doesn't make any sense to me - and I consider myself a pretty smart person. Is there anyone in our government looking out for the average American? All I know is that a relocation to Switzerland is looking more and more appealing.

Imaginationland wins an Emmy!

2008-09-15T09:11:00.001-04:00

The minute I saw this year's Emmy nominations, I was hoping and praying for the moment when I would hear that Imaginationland, Trey Parker and Matt Stone's brilliant South Park trilogy, was an Emmy winner. Well, that day is finally here. If you haven't seen these three South Park episodes, stop reading this immediately and go do yourself a favor and watch them!

I got the news from this article, which contains quite possibly the best sentence I've ever read;

Our congratulations go out to Matt and Trey and the entire South Park team for their win for the "Imaginationland" episode, which at press time marks the first time in Emmy history an award was given to a storyline involving one character placing another character's balls in his mouth.

Now, don't you want to watch that?

This is my life

2008-09-08T22:34:00.004-04:00

The following is a real depiction of my everyday life:

Me: "So, after all the music I said I wanted to buy on iTunes I just ended up buying Hanson."

Wife: [With quite possibly the biggest look of disappointment I've ever seen on her face] "Babe."

Me: "What? I know, I know...But I mean, just listen."

Wife: [Walking out of the door] Goodnight.

Me: "I can't help it. I'm a fan and I'm not going to be ashamed."

Now, I'm just sitting here alone listening to Hanson. What's wrong with me?

Officially Old

2008-09-07T21:45:00.004-04:00

I realized tonight a very sad truth that I am no longer young. I suppose one could make the argument that the fact that I'm attempting to "live-blog" the MTV VMA Awards says something about my youth, but what's more telling is that I literally do not understand anything that is happening on this show!

Let's start with the host, Russel Brand. Who is he and why is he hosting this show? All I can say as I watch this show on TV is, "What is he saying?" or "Wow, this guy is saying some really inappropriate stuff about the Jonas Brothers and Madonna." The fact that I'm slightly offended by his attempt at humor is clue #1 that I am getting older.

Then there's the aforementioned Jonas Brothers. I don't really understand why they are famous, though, this is coming from someone who's been a Hanson fan for years. This means that I am being hypocritical just because a younger generation finds the appeal in something I don't and I'm criticizing something simply because I don't understand it, like parents in the 80s criticized hair bands or Miami Vice (thank you Youth and the Media classes at Ithaca). This is clue #2 that I'm getting older.

I consider myself a lover of all music. While rap isn't exactly my favorite music, I can appreciate some of it. Yet clue #3 that I'm getting old is that as Lil Wayne or Young Jeezy (they're both the same, right?) was performing all I could think was, "This is just noise," in the same voice my grandma would say it when I was listening to the Lion King soundtrack.

But, I don't feel so bad about all of this, honestly. See, as I write this, Slash just took the stage to present an award and my lovely wife said, "Is Slash still relevant? I mean, what's up with that hat?" Years ago we probably would have been all over that sh**. Now, we're just two old geezers who need to get to bed because it's approaching 10:15 p.m.

Note: Before I could save and post this, Pink took the stage to perform her new song, So What. The final clue that I'm not as young as I once was is that I thought to myself, "Hmm, I could get into this song," but then changed my mind after she stuck her tongue out and made a fart noise at the end of her song. Apparently, I found that wildly inappropriate.

Laughed Until I Cried

2008-08-25T22:47:00.002-04:00

I remember being one of the only people in middle and high school who thought Norm McDonald (of SNL fame) was funny. I would quote his David Letterman impressions with my friend Nikki ("Uhhh, ya got any gum?") for hours. I dare you to listen to "Tex Hooper" from his CD Ridiculous and not laugh out loud.

Well, apparently, the following series of video from Bob Sagat's Comedy Central Roast proves that I'm still among a very small group of people who think he's hilarious. I think the other comedians up on stage get the joke, as well as some savvy audience members. But what's even more humorous is the uncomfortable awkwardness felt by many in the room.

If you watch this and can't contain your laughter at least once, we should really be hanging out more.

Me, Yearbooked

2008-08-18T22:29:00.011-04:00

Through the most amazing piece of web programming eve r, I was able to yearbook myself through time. Some of these images almost made me pee my pants, and one is eerily scary to one of my dad's yearbook photos. I apologize in advance for any nightmares the following images may create.

1952
1960
1970
198019881998
2000

I'm not sure why I ballooned in '98, but luckily I laid off the ham sandwiches long enough to have a decent picture in 2000. Please yearbook yourself and share it in the comments. I may need a good laugh while I'm at work.

My top 10 things about Los Angeles

2008-08-07T22:20:00.008-04:00

I recently visited the cozy little town of Los Angeles and so many wonderful things happened that I felt it necessary to share the top 10 reasons why I love L.A. Think of this post as you would a Media McNuggets post, but replace media with Los Angeles. And begin...

10) The Elephant Bar is in L.A. and is home to what the wife and I like to call, "the big f*cking brownie." Enough said.

9) Where else can you see Kal Penn enjoying a light lunch outside?

8) Apparently Fantastic Sams is the most popular place for haircuts and everyone in L.A. knows it. What a crazy town!

7) The Coffee Bean is cooler than Starbucks, however, it won't be a true battle until Dunkin Donuts increases their presence in the city of angels. Seriously, where are all of the Dunkin Donuts?

6) Pebbles lives in L.A. and makes phone calls like this..."Mommy, I've been watching Cast Away on TBS all day and I can't find the clicker. Please come home. Love, Pebbles."

5) No one actually works at the Wendy's in Silver Lake, CA...and no one seems to care! Luckily Arby's has two employees to make up for it.

4) No matter how many times you've seen it, the Hollywood sign is still exciting, even if there is an ugly tower right next to it.

3) Just sitting on the beach can be more entertaining than a movie, especially when you see cavemen children throwing sand at and spearing birds, two grown men "wrestle" each other for an hour in the ocean and a flock of seagulls annihilate a bag of Frito's.

2) The Rachos Las Lomas exists and is a beautiful place to have a wedding. If only the wild birds and growling Bengal Tigers would be quite long enough to let the bridal party finish their speeches. As Stephanie Tanner would say, "How rude!"

1) Somewhere on this page is the name of a Martian who traveled to Earth during the big bang explosion/a living, breathing Tom-Tom navigation system posing as a narrator of the Griffith Observatory's Centered In the Universe planetarium show. "Welcome to your hooooooome."

My trip to L.A. was truly bananas!

Follow me on Twitter

2008-08-07T19:53:00.004-04:00

I'm trying out some new (well, new to me) technologies and I want you to join me! Follow me on Twitter as I provide short updates on what I'm doing during the day.

What's the point of this, you ask? Well, there really is no point other than it's a fun way to know what I'm doing. When I need a break from work, I'll post. When I'm on my way home from work and I think of something funny, I'll post, via text. When I'm taking a twosie and I have my cell phone near me, I just might post! I'll still be blogging when I have the time, but my Twitter feed just might be the perfect thing to tide you over between posts. Pretty soon, I'll own the Internets!

Leave Me Alone, Please

2008-07-13T11:14:00.004-04:00

On behalf of my wife and I, This post is for all of those waitresses and waiters out there, especially at The Olive Garden, who too frequently visit our table while we are eating to see how we are doing and if we need anything else. Trust me when I say that we are fine and if we are in dire need of something, one of us will track you down the next time you walk by. If we didn't need a new soda or extra cheese on our Tour of Italy or shrimp fettuccine two minutes ago, odds are we are not going to need it now. I find it extremely frustrating when I am trying to have a pleasant conversation with my wife and I am continuously interrupted with, "Is your food okay?" Do you really have that little confidence in your food that you must ask repeatedly if we are enjoying it? Should I be worried about my food for some reason? Did it fall on the floor or is it laced with some sort of narcotic? If so, then we have a whole other issue that needs to be addressed. I'm fine! Leave me alone, please, and let me and my wife eat in peace. Thank you.

Oh, one more thing. We would like you to visit our table at the end of the meal to give us our check so we can leave and finish our errands. See, we sort of expected you to be visiting our table every minute on the minute, so when you disappear for 15 minutes after we are done eating, we get a little frustrated. To summarize, come less often during the meal unless you see that we need something - in that case just bring it and don't feel the need to converse with us - and come more often at the end of the meal to get our plates off of the table and give us our check. Geesh!

UPDATE: Dear Olive Garden waitress, If you belong to this group, please disregard this open letter of hatred and accept my sincere apologies.

UPDATE #2: Boy, did I have some spelling errors in that post. They have been corrected. I hope this doesn't hurt my street cred with the literary circle in academia.

10 Piece Media McNuggets - They're Baaaaaack

2008-06-20T23:16:00.006-04:00

By popular demand (ahem...Chris) the Media McNuggets portion of this blog has returned. Savor every bite because, like the McRib, who knows when they will return.

10. Budget cuts forcing you to cut back at the office? Just be glad you don't work at the following office:
9. Don't you just hate it when you are almost blinded by a defective thong? The following quote pretty much sums up this story: “I was putting on my underwear from Victoria’s Secret, and the metal popped into my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That’s what happened.” Riveting.

8. This list of 100 new classic movies of the last 25 years was a pretty good read, though I'm disturbed that Forrest Gump and American Beauty, two of my favorite movies from the 90's, are absent from the list. I think the editors at Entertainment Weekly are forgetting that Forrest Gump was the Oscar winner for best picture over their number one choice.

7. So, a whole bunch of girls at a high school in Massachusetts made a pact to get pregnant so they could raise their children together. Another reason why Juno is ruining our society.

6. I try to resist the temptation to blog about Britney Spears, but when a picture like this exists in the world, how can you not?

5. Something about the following animated GIF is out of place, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

4. I could probably fill this entire list with SNL Digital Shorts. In case you missed it, here's one from earlier this season that made me laugh. Fred and Sharon would be so proud.

3. This is for all of the men out there. I began crying with laughter after number 9 and it just kept going after that.

2. The trailer for Australia starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman looks amazing. Let's hope it's more like Moulin Rouge in style than Pearl Harbor.

and the #1 McNugget is...

1. Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Do yourself a favor and buy this album. It's a huge step forward for the band, as if they needed to take another step forward. If you can't afford the whole album, download Lost!, Yes, Lovers In Japan and Strawberry Swing (assuming of course that you've already purchased their most successful single Viva la Vida.) Since I can't link to the album for your listening enjoyment, how about the Sonic ad for Mac?

That's all for this week. Maybe next week the McNuggets will return meatier and juicier than ever.

The Other U.S. Open

2008-06-15T10:27:00.003-04:00

When I think of the U.S. Open, I immediately and only think of the obvious tennis tournament held in late August in Queens, NY. You know, the one Roger Federer has won for the past four years? Well, out of complete boredom and perhaps because of all of the golf-themed Father's Day cards I was perusing the other day, I tuned into the U.S. Open golf tournament for the first extended period of time in my life and I have to say I enjoyed it.

After a while I started getting just as excited as I do during tennis tournaments. Of course, I know just enough about golf to understand and enjoy what I am watching and who doesn't know about the legend of Tiger Woods? I've willingly tuned into some tournaments to watch a little of the action, but it was never as exciting to me as it was last night.

Tiger's back nine play on Saturday night seemed nothing short of mastery. Battling an injured knee and tee shots deep in the rough, Tiger's "comeback" started to reminded me of Pete Sampras' epic battle with Alex Corretja in the 1996 U.S. Open. After hearing the roar of the fans when Tiger eagled hole 13, it was impossible not to feel excited. I even started thinking that I may need to start taking some golf lessons so I can enjoy the game more. Maybe for the time being I will just try to master Wii Golf.

I always wondered why Father's Day and golf seemed so synonymous - now because of the U.S. Open tournament, I understand.

The Forgotten Art of the Transition

2008-06-11T22:14:00.003-04:00

This video is just too damn funny. This guy must study the Ron Burgundy style of news reading, where he literally just reads everything on the teleprompter. I wish there was a follow up video of the next day at the office between the co-anchors.

These Hard Times

2008-05-21T20:39:00.002-04:00

I don't often write about politics or the state of our Union, but with things going the way they are in this country, it's hard to sit by and say nothing. I just heard on The Nightly News that many professionals in the energy and oil business strongly believe that gas prices will hit $6 a gallon, at least, by the end of this summer. That is ridiculous.

Because of the rise in oil prices, American Airlines has decided to charge for any checked baggage, a service that has always been free. People will no longer be able to travel period if this continues. It's only a matter of time before bus, train and metro prices rise to level of airfare.

Truckers are using cocaine and speed to stay awake so that they can make more deliveries because the gas prices are so bad. So now when we are driving to work (which we soon will not be able to afford) we are at risk of getting killed by a coked-out truck driver trying to deliver cases of oil to Jiffy Lube, whose Signature Service will most likey soon rise to $400 every three months.

All of this while companies like Exxon-Mobile and BP report record profits in the tens of billions! BILLIONS! Yet, Americans can't not buy gas. Even if we take public transportation, it takes gasoline to get a bus or train moving. No one is proposing a viable alternative to oil as an energy source. Why? Because oil makes people ridiculously rich and as long as those people are rich, they will have power...power to keep things running exactly the way they have been and will be for years to come. We need to find a better way to do things before we're all forced to give up entertainment, Christmas, cell phones, general hygiene products, food and Nintendo Wii. If we don't, we are all going to die of ragey-rabies sooner than we think!

Mid-Year Music Checkup

2008-05-13T22:02:00.006-04:00

Wow...this has got to be the most unoriginal blog post title to date. Anyhow, 2008 is almost halfway over so I thought it would be a good idea to check in on what's rocked my lobes so far this year. With most of my money going towards gas these days ("Don't get me started, don't even get me started"), I haven't had the chance to buy a lot of music this year. Luckily, Coldplay came to the rescue by giving their first single, Violet Hill, away for free. This brings me to my top pick of the year so far...

1) Coldplay! - I love this band, and from the sounds of the two songs I've heard so far, all of America is going to fall in love with them too (if they haven't already) with the release of their fourth studio album, Viva La Vida. Strings?? Church Bells??? Synthesizers???? Awesome!

2) Gavin Degraw - Not sure about the self-titled album title, but the material on his sophomore effort is rock solid. In Love with a Girl is as hooky, yet lyrically sound as ever, but the hidden gem on this record is Let It Go.

3) I'm Yours by Jason Mraz - If you bought Mraz's second album on iTunes in 2005, you likely know this song. It was included as a bonus track and among the better songs on the entire album. Remixed and with a more upbeat tempo, it's now the lead single on his third album We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things. Somehow the lyrics are more fitting now then they were when the song was originally released.

4) Sheryl Crow - I've blogged enough about Sheryl this year, but this album is definitely worth purchasing. Some of you may be shocked that she only lands at #4 on this list. To be honest, I've stopped listening to the CD and it's only been three months! I think I listened to it way too much the first month and needed a serious Sheryl break. I promise I'll start listening again soon. If you don't feel like buying the entire album, at least purchase Diamond Ring and Make It Go Away (Radiation Song), songs that will never reach radio but are definitely worth your hard earned 99 cents.

5) Singles - I'm digging Take A Bow (Rihanna), Sweet & Low (Augustana), Nine in the Afternoon (Panic at the Disco), Falling Slowly (Oscar winners Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova), Stop & Stare (One Republic), Realize (Colbie Caillat), Trying to Stop Your Leaving (Dierks Bentley), Laughed Until We Cried (Jason Aldean), Say (John Mayer), How Far We've Come (Matchbox Twenty).

Things I'm over:

1) Madonna and Mariah. Stop making music, please.

2) The word Shawty (Shorty, Shortie, etc.) in every freaking song! Having that word in your song does not make your song good. Stop using it. Immediately.

3) Taylor Swift. Such a dilemma here - she's a talented songwriter and pretty hot, but has anyone else noticed that she can't sing? Isn't that a problem for a professional singer?

4) Sara Bareilles' Love Song - She's awesome and the song is great, but that doesn't mean it needs to be used in every commercial, movie soundtrack, Valentine's Day highlight package, etc. The song is over. Move on, please.

5) British People besides Coldplay - Corrine Bailey Rae came along and sounded cool. Then Lily Allen, who wanted to be the opposite of CBR, came onto the scene. Then Trainwreck Winehouse won a whole bunch of Grammy's. Now there's Duffy and Adele. They are all the same person and all fighting to sound cool with a throwback sound. Newsflash - you all sound the same, which makes you uncool. How about some originality?

That's it for my half-year roundup. Feel free to leave me some comments and tell me what you are listening too.

A Promise I Couldn't Keep

2008-04-28T22:28:00.007-04:00

I know in my previous post I mentioned that I was reinvigorated and ready to blog the night away again. Immediately after I wrote that, something happened that has caused me to reassess my previous statement: I became the proud papa to a beautiful little puppy. I can't go into details about how cute he is because he is currently eating my work socks, but I can attach some pictures and let you judge for yourself how irresistible his little cute face is.

So, in an effort to not make anymore false promises...I'll be blogging again when Thunder (or Thunder-Pants as we like to call him) isn't eating daddy's work socks.

Only Vegas

2008-04-17T01:15:00.006-04:00

I've taken quite a leave of absence of late, so I'd be surprised if anyone was actually reading this post. That said, being at NAB this week in Vegas has me re-energized to act my age and blog, consume more web video and audio than my brain can humanly process and start creating interesting and meaningful content that you, my trusty and loyal audience, will appreciate and enjoy.

It's been an interesting week here in Vegas. The past few days I've experienced such things as seeing the executive producers of Lost speak, listening to a network executive ream out someone on his staff for letting a deal fall apart, feeling really good about winning money one minute and then wanting to jump off my 10th floor balcony minutes later for losing all of that money, paying $5 for a Diet Coke, and desperately wanting to go to bed at 9 PM because I couldn't stand the thought of attempting to win my money back and lose it all again. What a week!

If nothing else, I hope this week taught me that it is okay to sit in front of a computer and blog and be all up in the digital scene. That's the way of the world and will be for years and years to come. That means look out for more blog posts -- for about a week or so.

Radio Willmott

2008-02-26T14:12:00.006-05:00

I just received great news from my friend Ben Willmott that he will be touring for a couple of dates with musician, singer-songwriter Jesse Harris. Harris is best known for writing "Don't Know Why," the song that made Norah Jones a household name. I know him best for his awesome album The Secret Sun. Tracks 1-5 on that album are essentially the soundtrack of my 2003 summer.

I'm so proud of Ben for his musical accomplishments in such a short time. He is an awesome musician and if you're ever in the New England area you should definitely check him out. If you don't travel to that area much, why don't you check him out on the radio...tonight! Of course, you can always visit his web site or his blog. Man, this guy's everywhere!

Look for Ben's latest album, Rich With Love, due May 30, 2008. And go out and buy some Jesse Harris albums too!

Oscar Tops

2008-02-25T12:52:00.004-05:00

I've found that it's really hard to watch the Oscar's when you aren't rooting for any particular movie. It's difficult to get excited about watching someone except an award when you've only seen two of the films nominated for Best Picture, one of which you thought really shouldn't have been nominated. Plus, the whole nominating and campaigning process is becoming way too political for me. It's almost like the winners have been determined months in advance. That said, there were plenty of moments that kept me entertained before and during the show this year. Below are my top five Oscar moments for 2008.

5) Seeing Diablo Cody win for Best Original Screenplay - NOT because I think she deserved to win, because she definitely did not, but because it gave America a chance to see just how much of a trainwreck she is. What was up with that dramatic exit?

4) Steve Carrell getting upset after finding out that he wasn't presenting an award for the gritty, meaningful Best Documentary, but rather for the Best Animated Movie. Anne Hathaway did a very nice job of consoling him.

3) The bazaar exchange between Jennifer Garner, Ryan Seacrest and Gary Busey on the red carpet prior to the awards. Garner looked scared for her life as an obviously drunk or drugged Busey went to hug and kiss her on the neck, while Seacrest had absolutely no idea what to do during the situation. How did Gary Busey even get in there?

2) Oscar's tribute to binoculars and periscopes as well as their moving "awakening from a bad dream" montage. This was supposed to give us a taste of what the show would have been like if if had been affected by the writer's strike. It would have been hilarious, that's what it would have been!

...and my number one Oscar 2008 moment...

1) Jon Stewart having Marketa Irglova from the movie Once come back to the stage and give her acceptance speech after the orchestra cut her off. Her partner, Glen Hansard, used most of the alloted time in accepting the Best Song award and the microphone was cut off as she began to speak. Her speech, which lasted just under a minute was the absolute best of the night:

The fact that we're standing here tonight, the fact that we're able to hold this, it's just proof that no matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible," Irglova said during take two. "And, you know, fair play to those who dare to dream, and don't give up. This song was written from the perspective of hope, and hope, at the end of the day, connects us all, no matter how different we are.

It's moments like this that make staying up late to watch the Oscar's well worth it.

Ferras Fever

2008-02-13T15:49:00.004-05:00

The side of me that is susceptible to hooky pop songs has once again resurfaced! Today, I can't stop humming Hollywood's Not America by Ferras, otherwise known as the lucky bastard who's song was hand-picked by American Idol producers as the sayonara song, as I like to call it. I'm assuming the message of the song is that Hollywood isn't the only place where you can live the American dream, so failing of not making it in that town isn't the end of the world. But, frankly, for a song like this I don't really care much what the message is. All I care about is hearing, "So long, put your bluejeans back on," otherwise known as the hook. I fall for the hook every time! Damn the hook!

The real question is, why does American Idol do such a good job of picking the sayonara song (remember Daniel Powter's Bad Day and Chris Daughtry's Home?) but such a terrible job picking the song that will eventually become the winner's first single (remember, This Is My Now and Believe...didn't think so)? American Idol needs to recruit some new talent to write a song with relevance and a good hook for this year's finale and ditch once and for all those stale songwriters who regurgitate the same song year after year.

That said, I am looking forward to this year's Idol competition. The talent seems much stronger than in year's past and a lot of the contestants are also quite impressive musicians. Let's hope the song in the finale does the eventual American Idol some justice. If not, you can always tune in just to hear Hollywood's Not America every week.

Old Spice, Moon Style

2008-02-11T19:26:00.001-05:00

My love for all things Will Ferrell continues with this hilarious batch of commercials for Old Spice done in the character of Jackie Moon, Ferrell's latest brilliant creation for the new movie Semi-Pro. I can't wait for this movie much like I couldn't wait for Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights, especially after seeing these commercials. Enjoy!

Perez Elects Next President

2008-02-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

I have officially seen it all in regard to this presidential election. Our society is bordering on ridiculousness when well established news organizations imply that people like Perez Hilton (yes, PEREZ HILTON!!) singlehandedly helped a presidential candidate win the votes of young people and women just because of his endorsement. Here's a newsflash for the media -- just because people use the Internet and like to read about pop culture does not mean that they blindly cast a vote for whoever the author of their fourteenth favorite blog endorses.

Also, newsflash for Sam Donaldson, who has been anchoring the news in some capacity for over 25 years -- The Internet was created decades ago and blogs aren't exactly a new technology. Is it really that inconceivable that Perez Hilton wrote a post about who he endorses for president AND one about a pregnant person -- in the same day!? Do you even know what a blog is?

After watching this video I have decided that I want to crawl in a hole loaded with Flight of the Conchords and How I Met Your Mother DVDs, Cheez-It's, and Sheryl's new album and not come out until this election is officially over. Can't we just have one day - just ONE day - where we don't have to hear how Perez Hilton elected the president or see Tim Russert blow his load all over the Today Show set because this race is just "so exciting?" Please? Ugh, I didn't think so. Hole, here I come.

A "Dynamite" Movie

2008-02-06T07:30:00.000-05:00

starring in a movie from the team who brought us

=

My new movie obsession! I'm just saying...

Detours, Song By Song

2008-02-05T19:57:00.000-05:00

My copy of Detorus has downloaded. My ears are prepared for auditory excellence. My fingers are prepared to type for you my first reactions to Detours, song by sweet awesome song. It's a good day for all. Here goes...

1) God Bless This Mess - Completely stripped. Just Sheryl and a guitar. I wonder if she's playing the guitar here. Her voice cracks a little when she says "God" for the first time. I like that it's not polished. It's raw, which is appropriate for a song like this. Very political. I think she's saying what a lot of us are thinking. There are pieces to this country that are a mess right now. Good intro to the album.

2) Shine Over Babylon - One of the two songs I already know from the album. At first I thought the chorus was lazy, but it's melody gets stronger and stronger with every listen. I'm going to have to study these lyrics! The message here is a lot like God Bless This Mess - we're in need of something positive to overtake the messy, almost degenerate society we've created. There's an interesting instrumental effect in the background of the song that I love, but I can't place what instrument it is.

3) Love Is Free - The second of two songs that I knew going into the album. Very catchy. Reminds me a little of All I Wanna Do from Tuesday Night Music Club. Really good chorus. There's a weird instrumental effect in the bridge that sounds like a Nintendo sound effect when Mario jumps into one of those big round tubes. Distracting. The song makes me happy.

4) Peace Be Upon Us - Worldly instrumentals. I love when she harmonizes with herself. Sounds like an Arabic singer in the second verse. Wonder who it is. Interesting choice - maybe saying that music can bring these two cultures together. The chorus is catchy and the song has a nice beat.

5) Gasoline - Instantly love it. This album takes me back to her Globe Sessions album. I love when she kind of talks and sings at the same time. Sounds like something you'd hear in the 60's and 70's - or the Forrest Gump soundtrack to be more exact. Again, a political song if you couldn't figure that one out from the title. The jist is that we need to free ourselves from our gasoline addiction.

6) Out of Our Heads - Another worldly sounding song. Her voice sounds different here, almost like Madonna. Hmmm, the chorus is very catchy! Wow, I really like this. There is a nice choir singing in the chorus. It sounds like one of those African Freedom songs like Singabahambayo or Siyahamba.

7) Detours - The sound here reminds me of some of the Wildflower songs. Quiet, almost sad sounding. I'm a little iffy on this one. Good song, but it doesn't stand out for me.

8) Now That You're Gone - I love when songs start out with just a beat. Good start for me. This one is a little bluesy, almost R&B if you can believe it. I like the instrumentation in here. There are subtle strings in the background during the chorus and some nice guitar riffs. Not the catchiest song so far, but definitely a keeper.

9) Drunk With the Thought of You - I immediately thought Sad, Sad World, which is one of my favorite Sheryl Crow songs. I love the music in this one. I almost think her vocals could have been a little more distant in this. Maybe my stereo isn't mixing it well. Short song.

10) Diamond Ring - Short, syncopated beats - then the chorus comes and everything becomes elongated. I like the addition of reverb in the chorus. This song is obviously about Lance Armstrong, and her vocals are very raw. She goes hoarse in the middle of the song a little. This is a really good song. The bridge definitely made the song for me. She sings with a lot of raw emotion.

11) Motivation - This album is so good!! This is one of those songs that I instantly like. It will probably be my favorite for the first few weeks and then I won't be able to listen to it anymore. It's not overly political (not that I mind) and not about Lance Armstrong. I think I like it because it will make me think about how she came to write the song - and thinking about Sheryl is always a good thing. This is a fun song.

12) Make It Go Away (Radiation Song) - Not a radio song, but very good nonetheless. You can tell this is a very personal song for her. It's obviously referencing her recent bout with breast cancer. I'm really impressed with the musicality of this album and this song is a good example of it.

13) Love Is All There Is - Good melody to the song. Not too impressed with the chorus, but it's still a good song. Not my favorite. It's going to have to grow on me, which I'm sure it will.

14) Lullaby for Wyatt - So simple and really beautiful. Not overly produced. It sounds as it should - like a lullaby. The lyric is interesting. She talks about the day she is going to have to give her son away to the world as he becomes an adult. Interesting that she is thinking about that now.

Overall impressions - This album is great. Another "front to back" album where you don't have to skip songs. I can't wait to listen more and more to find some deeper meanings. You should go out and get your copy today! Grade A.

Happy Sherylday!

2008-02-05T07:31:00.000-05:00

It's Sherylday! How are you going to celebrate? Oh, you're going to go pick up her latest album, Detorus, at your favorite music store? That sounds like a swell idea. See you there.

My First Wii

2008-02-05T07:30:00.000-05:00

More than a year after its release, I finally had my first Nintendo Wii experience this past Friday. I haven't blogged about it until now because I'm just finally coming down from the euphoric high Wii's sensory remote and stunning graphics provided. The experience was enough to whet my appetite, but I'm afraid the hunger that is Nintendo Wii will soon resurface in by belly.

I enjoyed a few nice rounds of tennis, all of which I won, and I even bowled a few games, one of which I lost (!) because I embarrassingly lost my spin. I didn't make it through an entire round of golf because I was presented with birthday cake and got distracted, but that too seemed quite enjoyable. I was impressed with how quickly and sharply the system recognized my movements and the sound effects and graphics were just as I expected a 21st century gaming system's to be.

All in all, I'd say Wii-1, Savings Account-0.

Damon's Star Is Rising

2008-02-02T08:54:00.000-05:00

Man, Matt Damon is everywhere these days. He was in last year's best picture of the year (The Departed), and had huge success with the third Bourne movie, The Bourne Ultimatum. But I'd have to say that his crowning success of the year is finally sticking it to Jimmy Kimmel by f***ing his girlfriend, Sarah Silverman. Way to go Matt Damon.

miMix - The Sheryl Edition

2008-01-28T23:15:00.000-05:00

With the release of Detours, Sheryl Crow's sixth studio album, only a week away, I thought it would only be fitting to feature her as my miMix Artist of the Month -- hmm, that has a nice ring to it. The following are some of my favorite Sheryl songs. I even threw some songs in the mix that Sheryl has never personally recorded, but does have a writing credit on. Enjoy!

Maybe Angels - Sheryl Crow album
Members Only - The Globe Sessions album
Favorite Year - Dixie Chicks' Taking The Long Way album
If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow album
C'mon, C'mon - C'mon, C'mon album
Riverwide - The Globe Sessions album
Somebody Stand By Me - Faith Hill's Faith album
Good Is Good - Wildflower album
Leaving Las Vegas - Tuesday Night Music Club album
Love Is A Good Thing - Sheryl Crow album

Detours Gets Reviewed

2008-01-23T17:54:00.000-05:00

Mmmm, the smell of sweet music is in the air. Sheryl Crow's Detours is two weeks from arrival, and from some of the editorials coming out, it sounds like it's going to be a good one! Check out the review below from Amazon.com.

Sheryl also posts that her web site will be revamped as well. Hopefully that means a boatload of Sheryl pics will be posted. Ahhh, the next two weeks can't come fast enough!

Thematically, Detours may not seem like much of a detour to Sheryl Crow fans. Her politics pour out of these songs the way you might expect them to if you caught wind of her epic cross-country bus trip, with the activist Laurie David, to promote environmental awareness months prior to this release. From the quiet, faraway-sounding opener "God Bless This Mess"--a novel in a song--to the catchy but thought-provoking "Gasoline," it's clear that Crow has more on her mind these days than soaking up the sun or having a little fun, à la the Tuesday Night Music Club era. Yet there's not a groan-worthy song on this standout rock/pop/folk/blues album. If the themes are heavy (in addition to the political songs, there's an almost painfully tender lullaby for her son Wyatt and one, "Make It Go Away [Radiation Song]," that touches on her breast-cancer experience), the mood is cathartic, determined, hopeful at times and sad at others. "Now That You're Gone" grabs at clarity through the clouds of a devastating love affair and gets it, and "Peace Be Upon Us" picks apart pettiness and arrives at a wide-minded beauty. George Harrison seems present in some of these songs, especially the more personal ones ("Drunk with the Thought of You," "Love Is All There Is"). And that may be the highest compliment that Sheryl Crow, who seems to admire his gentle soul and shares his big heart, could ask for. --Tammy La Gorce

Boycotting Best Buy

2008-01-23T12:23:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd say this, but I am officially boycotting Best Buy due to their crass handling of Heath Ledger's passing. Now, I am level-headed enough to know that this was most likely an incident concentrated at one Best Buy location posted by one soulless, tasteless, devilish assistant manager and not a company-wide initiative. However, until Best Buy publicly apologizes for their employee's behavior and sends him or her to the fiery pits of hell where they belong, I will refuse to shop there (unless they beat Circuit City to the punch and get some Nintendo Wii's in stock...I mean, damn!)

miMix - 1/23/08

2008-01-23T08:35:00.000-05:00

Sorry I'm a little bit late with the miMix this week. Hope you enjoy these songs. I could use some suggestions of songs old and new to put on my next miMix, so comment away.

Jenny Don't Be Hasty - Paolo Nutini
This River Is Wild - The Killers
Fallen - Sarah McLachlin
Girlfriend As Pretty As You Are - Stephen Kellogg
Day You Said Goodbye - Allison Moorer
I Don't Know What It Is - Rufus Wainwright
Slow Dancing In A Burning Room - John Mayer
Fall To Pieces - Avril Lavigne
Selfish Jean - Travis
Thank U - Alanis Morissette

Blast From the Past

2008-01-21T00:22:00.000-05:00

This video has been making the rounds on my MySpace page, but I thought I'd also post it here for everyone's enjoyment. This was during my first trip to Vegas at the Luxor with Pete, Tracey, Rachel and Chris.

Highlights of this short video include 1) How angry Pete gets when I say buffet, 2) How angry I get that Pete suggests seafood to eat (even though all I could talk about right before this was eating crablegs) and 3) how the Sphinx at the Luxor looks like a giant penis.

Enjoy!

Biting it down the stairs

2008-01-18T23:29:00.000-05:00

Please allow this video to get you through the long holiday weekend. I believe it will be funny each and every time you view it.

Pick Flick!

2008-01-16T08:55:00.000-05:00

If only I had the time and motivation to come up with something this brilliant! If you're an Election fan, starring Reese Witherspoon, you're going to love this video.

"Hey, what do Juno?"

2008-01-14T21:42:00.000-05:00

I saw my first critically acclaimed movie of the season this past weekend, and I have to be honest and say that it's not all it's hyped up to be. Don't get me wrong, Juno, starring Ellen Page as the titular pregnant teenager, was a very good movie. Page did an excellent job of playing a modern teenager who gets pregnant out of boredom and deserves all of the attention that she is getting for this role. I'm extremely surprised that Jennifer Garner isn't receiving just as much praise for her understated turn as a frustrated housewife desperate for a baby. The art direction and overall tone of the movie was also well executed. I particularly liked the opening title sequence.

All of the good, however, is overshadowed for me by one unexpected bad - the writing! I had very high expectations after reading that screenwriter Diablo Cody has become the go-to writer to capture the voice of the modern woman. I felt like there were moments of dialog that were just so forced and so unnatural that it ruined the movie. Maybe it's because I'm no longer a teenager and am having trouble relating to that world now, but I found it hard to believe that anyone says "wizard" instead of awesome. And when a gas station attendant uttered, "That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet," I almost lost it, and not in a good way.

I also had a problem with the lack of a dissenting voice in the film. Everyone, including Juno's parents, were pretty cool with her being pregnant at 16. For the movie to feel real to me, it would have been nice to see one disapproving character, one who was genuinely concerned with how life-altering this pregnancy would be for such a young girl. Instead, everyone just thought it was cool.

Don't let my review deter your from seeing this film. It really was a good film. I think it's important that a small film like this has had such a mainstream following. It also really boosts the presence of indie music that, without a movie like this, would most likely go unheard. I guess what I am most disappointed with is the hype. Something so hyped rarely lives up to the expectations you create for it in your mind.

miMix - 01/14/08

2008-01-14T08:55:00.000-05:00

Here is miMix for the week. I really enjoyed mine from last week. I listened to it almost everyday in the car. Did you listen? Did you download any of the songs? Leave me some feedback and suggest some songs for future mixes.

Vampyre - Pete Yorn
Slow Dance - John Legend
Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
Broken - Lifehouse
God Made Woman - Keith Urban
Bottle It Up - Sara Bareilles
Stop and Stare - One Republic
Wasted - Brandi Carlile
You Don't Know How It Feels - Tom Petty
I Know - Fiona Apple

I want to work there

2008-01-11T13:29:00.000-05:00

"If only my work place were this fun." "If only I had that much free time." "If only there was a gym across the street from where I worked." "If only I liked the Gorillaz."

These are just a few of the things I was thinking as I watched the following video.

GymGlish - Lip Dub (Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz) from Ad Soullier on Vimeo.

"Are you ticklish?"

2008-01-10T08:44:00.000-05:00

Oh, Funnyordie.com, you make me laugh like a little school girl. Enjoy this awkward "interview" between Zach Galifianakis and the brilliant Michael Cera. I particularly love the title of the show, Between Two Ferns. This sadly reminds me of many of my best college video projects.

An Ode to Billy Mays

2008-01-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

Are you thinking to yourself, "Who in the hell is Billy Mays?" Trust me when I say, you know this guy. Even if you've never seen him, I'm willing to bet money that you have heard him. Mays is the worlds loudest infomercial talker in the history of television. He's sold his soul to sell products that don't work to millions of Americans, including Mighty Putty, OxiClean and, yes, Zorbees. While I get annoyed every time I see his bearded face come across my television, I have to admit that I also am strangely entertained by his commercials. With that said, I present to you an Ode to Billy Mays.

Detours Cover Art

2008-01-09T10:59:00.000-05:00

I posted a few days ago about Sheryl Crow's new album, Detours which comes out on February 5, but I failed to post one of the most exciting things of all...the cover art! It's so simple, yet so elegant. Only 27 days left!

miMix - 01/07/08

2008-01-07T13:36:00.000-05:00

You might have noticed the song of the day feature at the top of the page. If you missed a song of the day, never fear, miMix (read, my mix) is here. Below is miMix of the week. Make a playlist out of it for your iPod, burn the tracks to a CD or just hum the songs in your head all week.

Three More Days - Ray LaMontagne
Like A Star - Corrine Bailey Rae
I Hope - Dixie Chicks
Dashboard - Modest Mouse
Loser - Dolores O'Riordan
Broken - Norah Jones
Faster - Third Eye Blind
You're the World to Me - David Gray
Why Can't You Be - Shelby Lynn
Not Falling Apart - Maroon 5

Enjoy!

Love Is Free

2008-01-06T11:59:00.001-05:00

One of the most exciting things about 2008 for me is that we will be treated to a new album from Sheryl Crow. I've already memorized Shine Over Babylon, a scathing look at our social and political state, but now I'm digging Love Is Free, a more upbeat tune dedicated to the people and sounds of New Orleans. It sounds like Sheryl is stepping into a new direction with this album and I personally can't wait to hear the other tracks on Detours, due out February 5.

This blows and sucks!

2008-01-05T18:22:00.000-05:00

Just in case you were wondering

Car Chase Friday

2008-01-04T21:29:00.000-05:00

It's Friday, which can only mean one thing -- car chase! Try to figure out what is going through this guy's head as he 1) comes face to face with a red truck and 2) decides to test his car's hovercraft abilities.

A Caucus? In Iowa?

2008-01-03T18:05:00.000-05:00

For over an entire year now, all the American people have been hearing about is how incredibly important the Iowa Caucus will be for the future of our country. I've been so sick of hearing about the caucus that I try not to even think about what is happening today. But, it seems that I can no longer put off thinking about this paramount event in U.S. history. Today, my little brain, already stuffed to the gills with useless information, finally woke up and cried, "What the hell is a caucus? And why in the hell is it in Iowa of all states?"

I went to ThisNation.com to find out the answers I've so desperately avoided knowing. Here's what I learned:

Iowa's process for choosing between presidential candidates is unique among the fifty United States. Every other state has a more traditional primary election in which registered voters can cast their ballots for the candidates they prefer. In Iowa, however, voters in each political party attend separate, small meetings, or caucuses, in towns and neighborhoods across the state. Caucuses are held at the precinct level in schools, fire stations and sometimes even in individual's homes (Say Whaaaa? I want a caucus in my house!).

At the caucuses, those in attendance indicate their support for the candidates competing for each party's presidential nomination. In the Democratic party caucuses, votes are cast by raising hands (are you f-ing serious?), a sign-in sheet (no, seriously...this can't be right) or by splitting into groups supporting each candidate (oh...I get it...it's KINDERGARTEN!). In the Republican caucuses, votes are cast by secret ballot (paranoid bastards).

The results of the caucus voting, however, do not directly determine which candidate will win the support of Iowa's voters for the presidential nomination (Oh, so it's pretty much pointless. Just as I thought.) Both party's state conventions are held in June. Only then, when state convention delegates cast their votes for delegates to the national party conventions, that Iowa's preferred presidential candidate's in each major party will be determined.

Ahhh, isn't democracy easy and fun? I can't wait to hear the explosive results of such a riveting event for the next week. Oh yeah, and I also found out that the caucus is held in Iowa because that state is lame, just like the caucus itself.

Taking Chances

2008-01-02T23:03:00.000-05:00

I may be risking several friendships and my marriage by admitting this, but it's time to finally admit that, yes, I am a Celine Dion fan. I don't care what you say about her music, her personality, her voice, or her fashion sense. It is people like Celine Dion that make this world so great. If you don't believe me, watch the following video and just try to disagree with me. I dare you. It's time that we all start celebrating the awesomeness of Dion.

New year, new look, new focus

2008-01-02T22:15:00.001-05:00

It's a new year, which means it's time to dust off the old blog and start anew. I hope to offer more posts and more reasons to visit on a regular basis. Hopefully the new year will bring with it new ideas for creating a truly awesome and legendary blog. With that said, it's business time. Happy 08.

Best of 2007

2007-12-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

There are so many best of lists out there this time of year, I thought I'd add my best of list to the mix. The following are my favorite things of 2007:

Albums:

1) Moses Mayfield - The Inside. I'm still listening to this CD on a regular basis...and I think I got Pete into it too. "Are you are you..."

2) Travis - The Boy With No Name. I became a big Travis fan after hearing the song "Sing" in one of those movie theater pre-show radio stations that I often loathe. When I found out they were releasing a new album, I snatched it up on iTunes and I couldn't be happier with my decision. This CD kept me sane to and from work for a good two months. "My Eyes" and "Under the Moonlight" are favs of mine.

3) John Mayer - Continuum. He might have made some odd personal choices this year (Jessica Simpson??), but his albums just get better and better. I also enjoyed his "Village Sessions" EP, which contained acoustic versions of a lot of the songs on Continuum. I'm also enjoying his new single "Say" from the movie The Bucket List.

4) Brandi Carlile - The Story. In an interview, Carlile explained that her singing voice is dramatic to make up for her dull personal life. I don't know about the personal life thing, but she's definitely got a dramatic voice and a wonderful songwriting ability. Favorite tracks: "My Song," "Wasted" and "The Story."

5) James Blunt - All the Lost Souls. Solid album from a solid artist. Better than his first album, which is a good sign. I hope to include him on many top five lists for years to come. Favorite track: "1973"

Growing on me - "Not Too Late" by Norah Jones and Daughtry

Singles:

1) Umbrella - Rhianna
2) Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
3) No One - Alicia Keys
4) The Story - Brandi Carlile
5) 1234 - Feist
6) Lost - Faith Hill
7) So Small - Carrie Underwood
8) Last Request - Paolo Nutini
9) You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse
10) Grace Kelly - MIKA

Movies:

Since I don't go to the theaters much anymore, some of the following movies actually came out in 2006, but since I didn't actually see them until 2007, they made the list.

1) Children of Men - this movie should have gotten much more attention last year at awards time. It was absolutely brilliant! Buy it used at Blockbuster like I did for $5! GO!

2) Knocked Up/Superbad - Judd Apatow is on a roll and both movies prove that he is the funniest person in show business at the moment. Knocked Up was a better movie, but Superbad had some absolutely hilarious moments.

3) Little Children - I still think about this movie from time to time. That's when you know a movie is good. Kate Winslet always seems to pick the best movies...that is, except for "The Holiday" (what was she thinking?)

...wow, it's sad that this is all I can think of. Either I'm tired, or I really need to do a better job of seeing some good movies! I'm disappointed in myself.

Maybe my new years resolution needs to be, "make time for movies, music and more pop culture to keep your blog interesting." Done and done.

iPoop

2007-11-11T22:54:00.000-05:00

Having trouble figuring out what to get the Mac lover in the family this Christmas? You know they already have the new iPhone. And the Touch iPod?!?...forget about it. That's old news to the hardcore Mac addict. I've got the answer. Get them something revolutionary in the toilet world. Get them an iPoop. I hear it can help one recover nicely from blogstipation.

The VCR makes a comeback

2007-10-08T21:30:00.000-04:00

Is it bad that I felt kinda dirty after I watched the following video?

Fall TV Premiers - The Remainder

2007-09-30T21:53:00.000-04:00

Sadly, premier week is over. If I've learned one thing from this year's week, it's to not believe all of the hype. Over-hyped shows are over-hyped for a reason -- they're not good and need extensive media coverage if they are to stand a chance of survival. Case in point - Private Practice.

In what will prove to be one of the worst decisions in Kate Walsh's acting career, the actress gave up a good gig on one of TV's most popular shows to join a cast of washed-up actors from failed shows in what has to be this year's biggest disappointment. Private Practice is Gray's Anatomy, only with less interesting people and dumbed-down medicine. SKIP.

Dirty Sexy Money - The pilot was great. Great acting, great premise and a great set-up for the rest of the season. The story goes something like this -- kooky family has lawyer, lawyer dies, lawyer has straight-and-narrow son who becomes lawyer for kooky family against his gut instinct. Interesting story lines ensue. CATCH.

And my favorites from last year picked up right where they left off. The Office was hilarious, as always and the staff of Gray's Anatomy's Seattle Grace has graduated to having interns of their own. Don't worry, they still have plenty of issues to sort out. Should be a good year of TV. Tracey can let you know the status of Gossip Girls and Desperate Housewives, if that's what you're into.

Still looking forward to...30 Rock and Friday Night Lights.
Need to start watching...Dexter.

Fall TV Reviews

2007-09-25T22:09:00.000-04:00

It's TV premier week, which can only mean one thing...I've been watching way too much TV and should be doing something more productive. Nevertheless, I'm here to offer you reviews of the shows that you should catch, those you should skip and helpful TV watching tips, like always have a blanket, pillow, peanut M&Ms and a Diet Coke handy. With any luck, you'll be watching TV like a pro in no time.

New shows:

1) Back to You, starring Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton. The reviews for this show were solid, which is why I decided to give it a chance. After watching, I realized that reviews are worthless and I never really liked Kelsey Grammer or Patricia Heaton that much anyway. If you're one for forced story lines and hammy acting, you'll love this show. Remember when I said to always have a pillow and blanket handy when watching TV? Well in this case, use them to take a much needed nap. SKIP.

2) Chuck, starring Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski. Clever premise, solid, understated acting and some comic relief boost what could have been another snooze-worthy show into a solid, entertaining hour of television. If you don't have the time to watch it live, record it and watch it during a TV programming lull. CATCH.

3) Reaper, starring Bret Harrison, Ray Wise and Tyler Labine. Reviews for this show were solid as well, and after watching I realized that some reviews are worth listening to. The story revolves around Sam, whose soul has been sold to the devil by his parents before he was even born in an effort to save his mother from an incurable illness. Sam must capture hell's escapees and return them back to eternal damnation. Okay, so the plot sounds ridiculous and it is. But once you get past it, you'll see that it is a show with a positive message and definitely worth your time. CATCH.

Returning Shows:

1) Hereos. After an extremely disappointing season finale, Heroes is back for its sophomore season to try to recapture the magic of its first batch of episodes from season one. The premier was okay until the end, which made it a must watch again. Heroes repeats the same pattern - not that interesting for the first 50 minutes, but then a solid fifth act brings me back to life and guarantees that I'll be watching next week. If only they could make the whole show watchable maybe I could justify the show's nomination for best drama over Lost. CATCH

That's all of the new TV I've watched so far. Look for updates throughout the week as new shows like Private Practice, Dirty Sexy Money, Big Shots and Pushing Daisies premier and old favorites like Gray's Anatomy, My Name is Earl, Friday Night Lights and The Office are welcomed back into our lives.

And please, let me know what shows I should skip or catch in the comments section.

Is the "life-changing album" dead?

2007-09-19T21:31:00.000-04:00

I was driving home from work the other day when To Zion from Lauren Hill's The Miseducation of Lauren Hill came on my iPod. I lit up with excitement, partly because I haven't heard that song in so long, but also because it brought me back to a time in my life when an album was able to educate me far more than any textbook could. There are a handful of albums that I can honestly say made me become a more interesting, cultured and wiser person. These are albums that changed my life...

As mentioned above, The Miseducation of Lauren Hill by Lauren Hill. I'm not saying that I consider this to be the best album of my life, but I remember being really intrigued by certain songs on this album and feeling like I was learning something about life by listening to it. To Zion, Ex-Factor, Doo Wop (That Thing), Every Ghetto, Every City and Everything is Everything really stand out here. The album has an amazing production value (listen to how many times Hill records a new track over herself) and some really great stories. Favorite track - To Zion

Santana's Supernatural. This CD was really different than any music I had ever listened to. I remember being fascinated by Santana's guitar playing and even more interested in his choice of musical partners. Many have tried to replicate the format of this album, including Santana himself, but none live up to this piece of art. Favorite track - The Calling (featuring Eric Clapton.)

Blue by Third Eye Blind. I may have mentioned this in a previous post, but I bought this album solely because I liked the cover art. I had heard of the obvious Third Eye Blind hits like Semi-Charmed Life and Jumper, but was never enough of a fan to pick up their first album. After purchasing Blue and loving it, I went back and bought everything Third Eye Blind that I could find. Favorite track - Wounded.

Van Lear Rose by Loretta Lynn. I actually had to stop listening to this album for a while because it was so good it was painful to listen to, if that makes sense. Lynn's raw voice and even more raw storytelling is absolutely amazing. I watched Coal Miner's Daughter after I purchased this album, which only made me appreciate Loretta Lynn more. Favorite Track - Portland Oregon and Little Red Shoes.

The Messenger by Edwin McCain. There's a lot on this album that I don't like, actually, but the good songs outweigh the bad. This CD taught me what good songwriting was all about. It would be nice to see an Edwin McCain comeback, wouldn't it? Favorite track - Beautiful Life and Sign on the Door.

Sheryl Crow by Sheryl Crow. What can I say about this album that I haven't already said. This CD came out when I was a freshman in high school and I'll never forget how much smarter, grown-up and appreciative of music I felt after each listen. I actually think The Globe Sessions is Crow's masterpiece, but this album is a close second. This album started my undying love for all that is Sheryl Crow. Favorite Track - They're all amazing, but if I had to pick one, I'd say Maybe Angels.

So you'll notice that most of these albums are from the late ninety's. I don't know if it's because I am more grown-up now or what, but I can't think of an album that has come out in the past five years that has truly affected me like the one's mentioned above. Sure, there have been some great albums since then (Come Away With Me by Norah Jones, Taking the Long Way by The Dixie Chicks, Nothing Left To Lose by Mat Kearney, The Inside by Moses Mayfield to name only a few) but nothing to truly rock my world. Hopefully the next life-altering album is just around the corner.

Dylan reads Not Their Blog!

2007-09-06T22:22:00.000-04:00

I'm just truly honored and touched that Bob Dylan, one of my personal heroes, would take the time to write a personal message about Not Their Blog. Looks like this blog is a must read for superstars too.

Fall is coming!

2007-09-03T21:48:00.001-04:00

My most favorite time of the year is fast approaching and I couldn't be happier. Everything is better in the fall - the scenery, the weather, the football, the television, the films, the music - it just couldn't be more exciting! And this year is especially nice because I'll also be getting married in the fall, in case you, the reader, didn't already know that.

I want to take this opportunity to share with you things that I am looking forward to this fall. Maybe my excitement will rub off onto you and we can all be happy together this fall.

1) Film - The Brave One. Smart, intense, NOT like Shrek, Pirates of the Caribbean or Spiderman...what more could you want? I have a feeling we'll be hearing Jodi Foster's name come awards time if the movie does good box office. I'm also looking forward to In the Valley of Elah, Rendition, Into the Wild, Lars and the Real Girl, and Margot at the Wedding
. Can't wait!

2) TV - the return of Heroes, The Office, Gray's Anatomy (kinda), SNL and other quality shows will help to remind me just how bad summer TV really is (although Big Brother sure has been entertaining this year.) And I love getting Entertainment Weekly's Fall TV preview to map out what new shows I'll be watching this year. I hear Chuck and Pushing Daisies are supposed to be particularly good.

3) Sports! Next weekend brings the finals of the US Open, where I hope to see The Rog win his 12th major and, surprisingly, Venus Williams pull through to take the girls' prize. I'm sick of Henin and despise Serena. It would be nice to see a less cocky, more mature Venus take home the prize. And then, of course, there is FOOTBALL!! It has to be the Redskin's year right?

4) Music - I haven't heard much of what's coming out, but I do know I'm looking forward to Carrie Underwood's new CD, Carnival Ride. I have a feeling we'll be hearing of her for a while to come. The Thanksgiving holiday also brings us a lot of great music releases, as well as some good specials on TV (Faith Hill on NBC two years ago anyone?) A good Norah Jones of Micheal Buble Thanksgiving special might be nice this year.

And then there's my wedding! Hopefully my Uncle Sal comes.

Welcome to the best fall ever. Hope you enjoy it as much as I will.

Song of the day

2007-08-20T22:22:00.000-04:00

I heard this song the other day while eating at my new favorite restaurant, Boston's. They were playing a lot of 90's music, but this song in particular really made me long for the days when the Monica Lewinsky controversy was the worst of our problems. The 90's were great. Our generation really needs to step it up with the 90's pride a little and show those aging 80's fanatics what losers they really are (I apologize if you are reading this blog and grew up in the 80s, or if you're just reading this blog. You really have a lot of time on your hands.)

Enjoy...

Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand Lyrics

Media McNuggets - Sorta

2007-07-26T09:09:00.001-04:00

While it's not a list of 10, it is a list a 1, and that's better than none.

This video is hilarious. It just goes to show that Kanye West does have a sense of humor.

I could see this being a new trend in music videos. It's cheap, hilarious, and it actually makes you listen to the song more. Makes me wish I was older when Madonna's Like a Prayer video was released. I could have been a video superstar.

Voter's choice

2007-07-23T23:47:00.000-04:00

You asked for it, and like any good pizza chain, I shall deliver! I share with you now my feelings on the express teller at my bank.

A normal person might think, "Hey, express teller! That means that I can do my banking business quickly in the convenience of my own car." Well apparently my bank is not run by normal people.

Allow me to set the scene. I get off work a little bit early one day. I see this as a grand opportunity to deposit some money that I've been meaning to deposit. I see the express teller lane sans cars in line, so I decide to partake in some express teller action. I fill out the deposit slip in the comfort of my air conditioned car and reach for the tube that gets sucked at the speed of light into the bank (note to self: this could be the early model of my life long dream to invent teleportation) only to notice that said tube is nowhere to be found.

Perplexed, I politely press the call button to inform the bank of this unfortunate circumstance. No answer. I press again. Without any apologies from the teller inside and a good minute to two minutes later, I hear the tube being sent my way. I insert the tube with my goodies and send it back to the teller. Mind you, at this point all I am waiting for is a receipt - a confirmation that my transaction has been completed.

Five minutes later...still waiting. Ten minutes later...still waiting. I decide to be "that guy" and press the call button until someone gets on the camera to explain to me what is going on. Finally, someone comes on and says, "Give me a few minutes while I take care of the line in here." And that's the precise moment I thought, "Something else for the blog."

If I would have known that I would have to wait for the line of people inside the bank to be serviced before the teller paid any attention to the express teller line, I would have just gone inside, thus defeating the purpose of an express teller! I also didn't appreciate the attitude of the teller who thought that I was being impatient after sitting in my car for 15 minutes, as if I should have known that express teller really means, slowest. teller. ever. Finally, I would like to virtually give the finger to all of those cars that gave me the finger for having to wait behind me to finish my express teller duties, only to grow impatient and speed off in a fury. I wasn't just waiting there for my health or to blow unnecessary car emissions into the air for fifteen minutes. I did have a purpose for being there.

In summary, beware of any sign that claims to be express. In reality, express really means "just as long as any other line and probably a little bit more annoying."

Pic of the day

2007-07-20T09:47:00.001-04:00

I love the marketing campaign of the new Simpson's movie. With the Kwik-E-Mart 7-Eleven's and now my most favorite show getting Simpsonized...it can't get any better.

I'm still a little bit torn on whether or not to go see the movie though. I mean, I hardly watch the show anymore. If I can't bring myself to watch something that's free, am I really going to pay money to see a longer version of the show? I need some convincing.

Emmy's same old craptacular song and dance

2007-07-19T09:39:00.000-04:00

It's the end of July, which can only mean one thing - The Emmy's announce their predictably boring list of nominees. Not that I disagree with them all, but it really is the same old list again and again with some minor rearranging of names and the inevitable addition of a useless category (this year's winner is "Special Class Program" whose standout nominee is Prince's Superbowl Halftime Show.)

I'll start out with a list of what the Emmy's got right this year...

- All of the Planet Earth nominations were deserved, especially for Cinematography (Tracey paid me to say that.)

- 30 Rock and the Office being nominated for outstanding comedy series, despite the lack of viewers. Also kudos to Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Rainn Wilson, Steve Carell, and Jenna Fischer for their acting nods. I even see that Fey was nominated for writing, which in my opinion, is the strongest part of the show.

- South Park's "Make Love, Not Warcraft" episode being recognized. It was definitely one of the best episodes of the season, if not the series.

- Resisting the urge to nominate the entire cast of Desperate Housewives in the best actress in a comedy series.

And now for what the academy failed to get right, again (and again...and again)

- I am dumbfounded that for a second year in a row Lost is not nominated for best drama. I'll admit that the beginning six episodes of this season were lackluster, but boy did the series get back on track and deliver hands down the best season finale this year. Is Boston Legal really better than Lost? I think no.

- The same list of lead actresses. Someone should do a study on how many times Mariska Hargitay, Patricia Arquette and Edie Falco have appeared as nominees simply because there aren't enough good roles for women on TV. Pick someone else, ANYONE else. I would have even settled for nominating Anna Nicole Smith for the drama that surrounded her death.

- Why must you nominate the entire cast of Grey's Anatomy in the supporting actress category? This wasn't even their best year. Pick the best one and leave spots for other shows. What about Hayden Panettiere? Her story line on Heroes saved the show in my opinion. Are there no good supporting actresses on ER? etc...

- I'm sorry Jack Bauer, you weren't the best actor this year and everyone knows it. Matthew Fox sure was good on Lost. They must have lost his tape.

- Why so much love for Dancing with the Stars? Doesn't anyone realize that it's the worst show? At least So You Think You Can Dance teaches the audience about dance and entertains us with different styles. Next year look for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader to top this category. Ugh.

I could go on and on. Basically what I am saying is that Lost was awesome this year and the Emmys are still boring. Yawn.

My Crystal Ball

2007-07-15T18:18:00.001-04:00

Tracey and I took a trip to the future and check out the picture we took at the Pimlico races...

...unfortunately, I let myself go just a little in the future and Tracey developed a frumpy sweater fetish. I also decided to go ahead and get some plastic surgery to get that butt chin that I've always wanted. I hope you enjoy the future as much as we did!

BB8 - Episode 3

2007-07-10T21:05:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm still writing about Big Brother. Get used to it!

Tuesday's episode was another quality show providing plenty of blog-worthy material.

Some high points:

1) Hands down, seeing the first America's Player assignment carried out. Eric was spot on with the Visine tears and dramatic story about an anorexic high school flame who broke his heart. My only complaint was with the editing. I wish I could have seen the whole story.

2) Joe immediately going to tell Nick that Jen is spreading the rumor that he tried to make out with her. The best moment was after Joe told he came back out and said, "Opps, I have a big mouth!" Maybe keeping him in the house won't be such a bad thing.

3) Jameka getting pissed during the power of veto competition that someone dumped her dirty laundry out all over her bed, while the rest of the house was in complete shambles. She was so annoyed that she put her clothes back in the bag, instead of playing the veto game.

And the low points...

1) Hearing Amber 1) cry every five seconds and 2) talk about God like he is a factor in this game. No, God did not put you up for eviction for a reason. I doubt God cares about Big Brother Season 8. He probably stopped watching after season 3. And if you're asking God for strength because your family is watching, it's probably not a good idea to announce yourself as a "total nympho" while flirting with Nick.

2) Noticing that Danielle is completely anorexic. It makes it really hard to watch the show. I hope she never loses a food competition because if she does, we may very well see the first reality show death.

3) Seeing Dustin's chest hair. It seems like he only brought one gray V-neck undershirt for the show. Someone should have told him that no one wears V-neck shirts anymore. Pity.

Stay tuned for Thursday's episode when we'll see who is the first house guest to go home. Personally, I hope it's Amber. She annoys me way more than Carol. CAAAAAAROL.

Five Consecutive Years!

2007-07-08T21:21:00.000-04:00

Why is Roger Federer so awesome? Is it because he conquered his nerves and a title-hungry Spaniard named Rafa to win this year's Wimbledon? Is it because for the fifth year in a row he is the Wimbledon champion, tying Bjorn Borg's record? Is it because this was his 11th straight grand slam final? Is it because he has been in 13 career grand slam finals and has 11 grand slam titles? Is it because his last name ends in two consecutive er's? All of the above!

Watching Roger Federer play tennis is like watching Swan Lake at the best theater in the world. It's like staring for hours at the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. It's like eating Creme Brule at the place where Creme Brule was invented. I could watch him play for hours and still be excited about it up until the very end. I normally always route for the underdog, but until the day Federer retires, I will always be cheering him on.

In a way, he is the underdog -- the underdog champion. With so much tennis greatness preceding his reign (Laver, Borg, McEnroe, Conners, Agassi, Sampras), he's got so much against him to breakthrough to the top of tennis history. So many commentators say, "If he can do this or he can do that, than he'll be staking his claim as the greatest of all time." Of course, that commentary was during the French Open against clay-god Nadal, a match which Federer unfortunately lost. But they always leave out the accomplishments that this 25 year-old has already achieved (see above). If he ever can breakthrough and win the French, I believe everyone will be referring to him as "the greatest" rather than "among the greatest." Even if he fails to win the French, he'll still be the greatest in my eyes (sorry Sampras).

BB8 - Episode 2

2007-07-08T20:57:00.000-04:00

Let the real drama begin. This season definitely has me excited, more so than any other Big Brother season, mainly because this year I get to blog about it.

Let's discuss some high moments:

1) Jen, the nanny, who had a nervous breakdown after the cast photos used to show who's been evicted from the house were revealed. She claimed the picture had "a shadow that looked like bags under her eyes, just not her bags...someone else's bags." Judge for yourself.

2) Jessica and just about everything she says. In reference to the "slop" the losing food-challenge team has to eat (which is oatmeal) she said, "It's really oaty"

3) The prospect of having Eric, America's Player, tell a house guest of America's choosing a made-up traumatic life story. I voted for Jessica because, well, she's dumb and probably gullible. Although how funny would it be to have Eric pour his heart out to one of the masculine guys in the house? Vote now if you dare.

And of course the low moments...

1) Kail already setting up a four-player alliance. Four horsemen anyone? It's already been done. See season 5.

2) Amber thinking that Kail wouldn't put her up for eviction just because they're both moms and, therefore, should have a mutual understanding. Earth to Amber, it's a game and you're rules are stupid.

3) Seeing so many commercials for Kid Nation and Pirate Master - two of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard of (which means I'm certain to be blogging about them in no time).

Is anyone else watching with me this season? Who'll be evicted? And why are Mike and Zach the same person?

My Guilty Pleasure: Big Brother

2007-07-06T08:52:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, summer! Amid the hot dogs, pool parties and humidity is yet another growing summer staple -- Big Brother. I'm not afraid to admit my love for the show and you shouldn't be either. It's The Real World with even more conniving, back-stabbing, petty house mates. Who doesn't want to watch 14 wanna-be actors make complete asses of themselves on TV?

This season Big Brother adds another new twist to its laundry list of shocking plot turns (The Ex-Factor, Project DNA anyone?) - America's Player! Whereas the other twists were a little gimmicky, I think the America's Player idea is just genius and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

So watch the show this summer and afterwards, make a visit to this blog so we can discuss the genius that is Big Brother (and how we already want Joe off of the show.)

Let's Hear it for the Flapper

2007-07-02T19:57:00.001-04:00

This picture just makes me laugh. He looks so naturally happy for having a flapper dress and an ankle monitoring bracelet on his leg. It really makes me miss 30 Rock. Can't wait for fall!

Just stop advertising

2007-06-21T21:53:00.000-04:00

Every time I sign out of Yahoo I see an ad for Classmates.com. I don't have much to say about it, other than I hate it. Here are the reasons why...

1) Does anyone even use classmates.com? Chances are if you didn't stay in close contact with someone from high school, there's a reason why. And if I do get the inclination to look someone up in a few years, I'd rather find someone cool who embraces MySpace instead of someone who resorts to using classmates.com

2) That poor ugly duckling in the photo! Why tease her like that? "Hey Sharon, we have an opportunity for you. Just give us your high school photo and we'll make sure you're in advertisements all around the world." Poor Sharon.

3) Why are there buttons EVERYWHERE? There's seriously too many buttons. They need to make like the Pussycat Dolls and loosen up their buttons.

So here is my plea to Classmates.com. Please stop using this ad and please go out of business. You are taking up precious space on the world wide web for nothing.

Maneater

2007-06-20T22:12:00.001-04:00

Hands down, the best part of being a groom is choosing the reception play list. In my search to find good music to play the night of my wedding, I came across the amazing duo of Daryl Hall and John Oats. Can I just ask how in the world these two became famous? (See picture below)...

...and in my search for Hall and Oats pictures, it just keeps getting better.

I don't know what's creepier -- the sensual gazes between Hall and Oats, or the fact that Tracey apparently knows their entire back catalog.

Watch out for a John Oats style mustache on my wedding day.

Favorite Song of the Day

2007-06-19T21:24:00.000-04:00

I know some of you are just driving or walking around thinking, "What in the hell is Steven listening to these days?" Well fear not you crazy inquisitors! I present to you my favorite song of the day. Today's edition: One Headlight by The Wallflowers. I know, I know...it's an oldie, but oh, such a goodie! Maybe it will be your favorite song of tomorrow. Beware, the video below might take a while to load.

One Headlight Lyrics

Attack of the Birds

2007-06-18T21:22:00.000-04:00

The following is a series of pictures that illustrates what it's like when I walk out of my house.

I also have a feeling that some of the thousands of birds that live outside of our house have fallen in with the wrong crowd and are now in a bird gang out to eat other birds' babies. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm mauled to death by an Oriole. Pray for me.

The PH craze

2007-06-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

Since everyone likes to replace the V in my name with a PH, and since phat became the best thing since sliced bread, I've decided to embrace the PH instead of fighting against it. So, I ask, why stop at phat? There are plenty of other words that could use a PH makeover...

1) Phine - as in, "You're so phine you blow my mind" or "You want me to do the dishes? Phine! I'll do the damn dishes!"

2) Phantastic! - as in, "I had some phantastic crab legs the other day."

3) Phart - as in, "Please don't phart on me ever again. That junk is nasty."

4) Phig Newtons - as in, "Damn these Phig Newtons are tasty!"

5) Phootball - as in, "I wish it was September so I could start watching phootball again."

6) Phree - as in, "That shirt was actually phree because I stole it."

7) Phenom - as in, "Some snakes can kill you with their phenom" (hey, if they can change Steven to Stephen, I can change venom to phenom.)

I hope these new words make it into your daily vocabulary. Pheel phree to add any that I may have left out.

The Life and Times of Poops Flannigan

2007-06-11T19:07:00.001-04:00

Creating an alter ego is hard these days. With so many TV shows and movies about comic book heroes out there, finding a good superhero that hasn't already been created is a challenge. I believe, however, that there is a character yet to be created -- one with such a riveting story, it will capture the imaginations of all Americans, or at least those who read this blog. I debut for you the first chapter in the life of Poops Flannigan.

Poops was born in the Irish quarters of New York City in 1961 to a bar-owner father named Tommy and a bread-maker mother named Deloris. His first act as a member of the human race was releasing an impressive Cosby, hence the name Poops. He was teased as a child for never being able to control his bowels in public.

Rock bottom for Poops was an embarrassing trip to the community pool, where after a glorious swan dive off the platform diving board, Poops turned the pool into his own personal toilet. Everyone at the pool began making fun of Poops, pointing and laughing until, finally he mustered up the courage to get out of the pool and walk shamefully back to his row house. It was that very day when Poops became determined to turn his unfortunate condition into something positive.

But there was someone else, someone evil, who saw Poops that day. This villainous man finally saw an opportunity to use Poops to carry out his plan of global destruction...

More on Poops Flannigan in Chapter two, The Hotel Years.

Steven's 10 Reasons - The Chicka edition

2007-05-31T09:25:00.000-04:00

The following are Steven's 10 Reasons why I love Chick-fil-A:

1. They make really good chicken

2. I like waffle fries

3. They serve chicken biscuits for breakfast

4. They call their ice cream cones Icedream

5. Their milkshakes remind me of heaven

6. Their mascot is a freaked-out cow desperate not to be slaughtered by chains like McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King and others

7. The first 100 people in line at a Chick-fil-A restaurant grand opening win a free meal a week for an entire year

8. You can buy big platters of their nuggets and brownies and eat them at children's birthday parties (or have them cater your wedding)

9. They close on Sunday's to honor God -- Because God hates fast food

10. Pete calls it Chicka

This has been a presentation of "Steven's 10 Reasons"

"You Don't Want A Schrutebuck?"

2007-05-21T17:37:00.000-04:00

Next time someone at your office does something special, nice or goes out of their way for you in any way, why not give them one of these. If they decline it, simple say, "You don't want a Schrutebuck?"

Of course, they might not need a Schrutebuck if they already have one of these, equal to, of course, a unicorn and a leprecaun

Chaos (It Could All Be So Different)

2007-05-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

Another song...working on the music for it now.

It's about the butterfly effect and whether or not if one thing changed in history, if it would change everything (more specifically, if a butterfly flapped it's wings, would it set into motion a sequence of events different than what we know today). Let me know what you think...

Chaos (It Could All Be So Different)

If that one butterfly
All the way back in time
Had never flapped its wings
A different world it’d be
If one event was changed
Life wouldn’t be the same
And if that’s good or bad
I haven’t figured yet

But I do know one thing
The condition of current events
Given one minor change
It could all be so different

If I could travel back
To when I chose this path
I don’t know what I’d do
Leave it be or change the view
If I could rearrange
The pieces of that day
Would I still be the same
Would there be a today

Well I do know one thing
The condition of current events
Given one minor change
It could all be so different

Chaos or harmony
Something better, worse or in between
Blue skies or blinding rain
Something opposite or more of the same

Well I do know one thing
The condition of current events
Given one minor change
It could all be so different
It could all be so different
Would I want it to be different?

10 Piece Media McNuggets 5/18/07

2007-05-18T14:33:00.000-04:00

Sorry it's been a while since the last Media McNuggets. They were undergoing lab testing to rid them of Trans-Fats. Let's get the list started.

10. I love this list of whacked-out TV shows. I have fond memories of staying up to watch Dinosaurs on ABC's TGIF line-up.

9. To light a fire under my ass and get my passport, my dad sent me this friendly reminder.

8. The Office was crazy good last night. Though not as hilarious as Andy floating down the river in a Sumo suit, the episode provided some great humor, romance, Ryan's WTF? moment and two big Jan cans! Catch up on their website.

7. One word...MacGruber!

6. I love stupid people!

5. In celebration of stupid people, here is a classic Price Is Right moment. Speaking of PIR, Bob Barker wraps up 50 years on TV in June. I remember summers as a kid when I was fat watching PIR and eating an entire medium cheese pizza by myself. I always did surprisingly well at guessing the food prices on that show.

4. The Price Is Right gets a double shout out on my blog today. I can't believe this lady has a new car. No wonder Barker's retiring.

3. Seems it's not just The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune that attract stupid people. Check out these stupid people on Family Feud.

2. Something tells me this is staged. But it's so hilarious I had to post it.

And the #1 Media McNugget is...

1. It's a toss up between Ed Helms' Zombie character or Wicked Games, the story of a horny tri-pod. Both are on Will Ferrel's funnyordie.com

I also enjoyed seeing Blake make it to the finals this week on American Idol. Watch the most exciting performance of the show this season. Speaking of Blake, I'm also enjoying the Maroon 5 single, Makes Me Wonder, and John Mayer's The Village Sessions, an acoustic version of some of his best songs from his latest album Continuum.

Nighttime Conversations

2007-05-18T08:39:00.000-04:00

They just keep getting better and better...

T: So every morning when I go outside there's a little bunny in our yard just sitting around.
S: Oh really?
T: Yeah, just a cute little bunny. Little bun bun. Cute as can be.
S: I better not come home and find you cheating on me with a bunny.
T: Please. Like you ever get home after me.
S: I love how that's the most improbable part of that statement for you.

What happened to network TV?

2007-05-16T08:41:00.000-04:00

My blogging efforts failed to pay off for The Class. It's a goner. Dead. Failed.

I'm sad because it was a good premise and had promise. It was that show you could turn on and not have to think about what terrorist was threatening to kill Americans this week or why in the hell is a polar bear on a tropical island? It was brainless, yet smart comedy that made me laugh out loud at least once per episode. And it was Pete's favorite show too. Let us take a moment of silence for The Class.

On a similar note, what in the hell is happening to network TV? Why is 24 the absolute worst show this season? Last year nothing could touch it and now I count down the digital real-time clock until it can finally just be over. And the new shows coming out next year don't look that promising either.

First, why aren't networks picking up good comedies? It's really sad when Two and Half Men is the most watched comedy on TV. Really?! Second, what is WITH the premises for these new shows? Look at the descriptions for some of the shows coming out next year and shake your head in disbelief with me...

Cane, a sprawling saga about a Cuban-American family running a rum business in South Florida, starring Jimmy Smits, Hector Elizondo and Rita Moreno.

-- BORING! Who cares about a rum business?

Moonlight, about an "undead" private eye who protects the living instead of feeding on them, but has eyes for an ambitious reporter.

-- Umm, are we STILL making shows about vampires?

Cavemen, Geico's commercial pitchmen, are a metaphor for everyday discrimination as they live normal lives in Atlanta.

-- Commercial, funny. Sitcom? Really?!

Life, a cop drama about a detective returned to the force after being falsely imprisoned.

- Wow, that's original.

And the worst part of all of this, we've yet to hear what Fox is bringing to the table next year. I should really start reading books.

Dinner Conversations

2007-05-12T23:15:00.000-04:00

Again, a conversation from an almost married couple at dinner time.

T: How are the meatballs?
S: Good. Want one?
T: No, I'm really full. Want some of my chicken cheesesteak?
S: Hmmm. No, I'm okay.
T: Are you sure? Here, eat this side.
S: What, like the ~~butthole~~ buttcrack of the sub?

--One minute later--

S: I thought you didn't want any meatballs
T: Well, they're really good. Eat some of my sub.
S: No, I'm okay.
T: Just eat the ~~butthole~~ buttcrack.

Bedtime Conversations

2007-05-11T08:37:00.000-04:00

The following is a bedtime conversation between an almost married couple. It doesn't get much better than this...

S: How did I sleep last night?
T: I couldn't even tell you. I slept all the way up to my alarm going off last night.
S: Yeah, I don't think I moved once all night
T: Me either!
S: Okay, that's a lie, I know I moved a little
T: Yeah, I moved a lot too

This is how I know we're meant to be.

Smells so sweet

2007-05-02T13:24:00.000-04:00

I really need to start reading The Onion more. While reading a hilarious story about The Office, I came across this story from four years ago about the Olsen twins. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet

LOS ANGELES-A ragged, misshapen girl was rescued from the squalid basement of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's residence.

Fw: Don't pump gas on May 15th

2007-05-02T09:41:00.000-04:00

I received an interesting email today. I normally don't open forwards, but the topic of gas prices sparked my interest. I'm hesitant to think that something like this could work, but it certainly makes one wonder...

In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in
protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon
overnight.

On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station
in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most
places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the Internet network,
and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up.

If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take
$2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil
companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station
on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry
for at least one day.

Do you think this is possible?

This guy rocks!

2007-05-01T09:51:00.000-04:00

The man below...

...is my new personal hero.

I don't know how many of you have actually been in a Verizon store or called Verizon customer service lately, but let me tell you, they SUCK!

Let me try to briefly explain my experiences with Verizon in the past 8 months. First, when I moved into my house, we thought it would be nice to try Verizon high-speed Internet instead of the more costly Comcast Cable Internet. We did not want a house phone, because, well let's face it, Tracey and I live in the modern age and who really needs a house phone anymore? Apparently this concept is foreign to Verizon. Phone battles turned into wars and eventually after three months of their services, we decided they sucked so much that it was worth it to pay more money for Comcast's reliable service.

Then there was the debacle of last week. My incredible fiance decided to buy me a new cell phone. We arrived at the Verizon Wireless store at 7 p.m. We picked out and bought the phone by 7:20 p.m. Because the people who sell you your phone are not competent enough to do a phone book transfer, we had to wait at the customer service line. We wait, and wait, and wait. Finally we are called up and ask a question about switching our plans only to find out that we can't switch plans without paying a huge fee. So then we ask if we can just do the phone book transfer. The "chipper" sales associate informs us that we have to put our name in at the Tech Support line. Annoyed, we enter our name and see that it shouldn't be so bad, because we are the second name on the list. Then it gets ugly, literally.

We had to wait over an hour and a half, listening to a lady who kinda looked like this...

...yell and scream at the service people about all of her problems. Instead of letting the service people try to fix her problem, she just kept talking, and talking, and...talking! Finally, 9:20 p.m. rolled around and we left the store, phone book transfer complete, two hours and twenty minutes later.

The irony in this whole situation is that in the amount of time it took us to wait, I could have just done a phone book transfer on my own.

This story might not have sounded very drastic, but keep in mind that Tracey was hungry during this whole ordeal. Now do you feel my pain?

In a South Park World

2007-04-23T15:09:00.000-04:00

I've recently been criticized that I live in a South Park world. Some of you may be asking, "What's a South Park world?" Well, one might define the term as things that I think would be funny that in the "real world" are, in fact, not funny and actually quite serious. Here are a few examples:

1) I often think it would be funny if a car explodes on the highway IF AND ONLY IF the car is occupied by a driver who rides your bumper while you are going 70 mph then passes you in anger as their speed inches closer to the 100 mph mark.

2) Sometimes I get the urge to run over people in motorized wheelchairs IF AND ONLY IF they are traveling at a snails pace across a crosswalk. I understand the people are handicapped, but the motorized wheelchairs aren't. Can't they go faster than a foot per hour? If not, there is a serious design flaw there.

3) When I see morbidly obese people eating the largest size ice cream available at ColdStone Creamery, I sometimes hope that they will literally explode. Maybe then they will understand that the amount of ice cream they eat will indeed end up killing them some day.

4) I've always thought it would be hilarious if a dolphin at one of those dolphin trick Seaworld-type shows missed a trick and ended up jumping out of the tank and landing on someone in the front row.

That's all of the humor I can take for now. If you also think these things would be funny, please speak up so I don't feel so alone.

10 Piece Media McNuggets 4/20/07

2007-04-20T15:28:00.000-04:00

I didn't think I was going to be able to post the Nuggets this week, but I just couldn't let you guys down. Plus, when you start to have people send you links to post, you know it's catching on. I think Media McNuggets can turn into the next dance craze, a la the Macarena, if we try hard enough. This installment might me music video heavy, but they're worth it.

10. So, I didn't like this song at first. All I ever heard was, "Life is great but sometimes life ain't good" from the iTunes 30 second clip, and I would just roll my eyes and dismiss the song. Then I heard the whole song and it suddenly all came together for me.

9. Another Gray's Anatomy song to get into (and then hate 3 months from now because it's so overplayed)

8. It kinda seems like My Name is Earl is stretching a bit too much for only being in its second season.

7. Go see Blades of Glory! It's more Zoolander than Talladega, and I'm pretty sure this is not how real pairs lifts are done.

6. I really wanted to post a clip of the Digital Short that was on SNL this past week. "Hey guys, I just thought of the funniest thing!" If anyone can find it, please send it to me. So not really a nugget, but more like one of those crippled nasty pieces of fried crudiness that gets tossed in with your Nuggets.

UPDATE - watch the hilarious Digital Short, Dear Sister, now!

5. I'm digging this song. The British bad girl thing? Not so much.

4. This is just...hmmm, funny?

3. Poor Cheetah. This does not sound like a fun zoo!

2. If this show were about mayonnaise, I might have been on it. Thanks Pete for the link!

And the number 1 Media McNugget of the week...

1. I know it's sweeping YouTube, but holy crap is this video funny. I'm glad I never had to deal with Pearl. Check out Ferrell and partner Adam McKay's site, Funny or Die, for more hysterical videos.

I'd just like to add that 6 months from today, I will be a married man. So get it while you can!

The world is right again

2007-04-19T08:53:00.000-04:00

I've been trying very hard not to talk about Idol because 1) I'm ashamed that it consumes my life so much and 2) everyone else has talked ad nauseam about every aspect of the show, but I just couldn't resist today.

THANK GOD (!) Sanjaya is finally off of that freaking show. I have to admit that I secretly wanted him to win so I would have an excuse not to watch next year. There's often an inner battle inside of me brewing as to why I watch a show that aggravates me so much. I could probably go back to school and write a thesis on why I hate American Idol so much, yet, just like the rest of America, I keep watching. Why is this show so addicting? Is it really a good tragicomedy or am I afraid that by not watching, I'll be missing out in some way? Who knows.

I'm just glad I'll no longer have to see this:

or this

EVERY SINGLE FREAKING SHOW!

Friday Night Nights

2007-04-17T13:48:00.000-04:00

Normally, I would wait to share something like this with everyone during my Friday Media McNuggets round up, but I just thought this was too funny. In fact, it may be the most important video of the world.

Minor Movie Character Hall of Fame - Round 4

2007-04-16T20:31:00.000-04:00

Neil beat Spider, hands down, in the previous round (and if Chris has anything to say about, "Talking Can" would have beat Neil as well).

Neil now faces the guy pictured above (sorry for the crappy picture), a minor movie character in Austin Powers Goldmember. He's so minor that I don't know the actor or character name. However, you don't know how many times I rewound the DVD to watch the split second where drool falls out of his mouth in the "Hard Knock Life" scene. In fact, one time I had to book it to the bathroom in fear that I'd pee my pants. The scene can be found in Chapter 5 of the DVD 35 minutes and 55 seconds in.

Who moves on?

At the mercy of Cowell

2007-04-16T14:40:00.000-04:00

I finally gave into the hype last night and officially entered one of my songs into the American Idol songwriting competition. For those of you who know my music, I entered "I'm Gonna Go Somewhere" because they were looking for an inspirational song that might mirror the journey of the Idol contestants. I have a new song that I wrote a few months ago, but I couldn't record it in time.

Anyway, the point of this is, if I am selected as one of the top 20 songs, then the American public can vote for my song. If this happens, which is very unlikely, then you all must quit your jobs and dedicate your entire day to continuously voting for my song. If this commitment is too much, I suggest you stop reading this blog immediately. No, seriously. Stop reading. Press the big X in the corner and never come back. Dude, for real. Fine, I'm just going to ignore you until you leave...

Ugh, fine! Stay. Leave a comment while you're at it.

Minor Movie Character Hall of Fame - Round 3

2007-04-13T15:07:00.000-04:00

Joe Lo Truglio plays Neil in Wet Hot American Summer. His scenes stuck in a whitewater raft are absolutely hilarious. If memory serves me correctly, there is a really funny long shot of Neil when they are getting the raft out of the water...but I might be thinking of a different movie.

So according to the overwhelming amount of comments received in the last round of the MMCHOF, Spider beat out Wendy. It's now Spider against Neil. Who wins?

10 Piece Media McNuggets 4/13/07

2007-04-13T11:56:00.000-04:00

I have some good Media McNuggets to share with you this week, so lets get started.

10. This game got me through the latest episode of the Real World/Road Rules challenge . If you can make it to where you're six points ahead of your opponent, there's a surprise in store for you (AKA, don't play at work).

9. 24 - Okay, I think we all agree that this season sucks. However, credit the show this week for bringing back a character that we are actually somewhat invested in.

8. Ever feel the urge to send out a heart-warming personal letter? Me either...but should you desire to in the future, maybe this letterhead would be nice.

7. I can't get enough stories about stupid criminals.

6. 30 Rock. The show is really hitting its stride. I'm especially loving the C story of Tracy Jordan playing Thomas Jefferson in a movie. Who knew that by the end of this TV season more people would be talking about 30 Rock then Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

5. I don't know how I feel about this whole Justin.tv project. When I go to the site though, I have to say it's fascinating. According to his schedule, he's seeing Disturbia tonight. Maybe we can see it for free?

4. I love/hate this site. Love it because it keeps me updated on all of the concerts happening around here (you can search for your city too). Hate it because I have a feeling I'm going to start spending too much money on concerts.

3. Okay, so not a media clip per se, but has anybody else tried Coke Zero? If you like the taste of Coke and the dietary benefits of Diet Coke, then Coke Zero is the beverage for you. I'm sure in 20 years a study will be released that Coke Zero causes Cancer-ridden AIDS.

2. Moses Mayfield. I know I've talked about them before, but I finally got my CD this week. All I can say is go out and get the CD now! The music rocks, the songwriting is phenomenal and the production is top-rate for an unknown band. For some reason, they remind me a little of Vertical Horizon when they first came out.

And the number one Media McNugget of the week is...

1. Mat Kearney/Rocco DeLucca and the Burden/The Feeling. I saw them in concert on Monday and man was it great. The Feeling was okay (the bass player just kept running around everywhere), Rocco can play the hell out of a steel guitar (though his songs were a little inconsistent), and Mat Kearney was perfection. You could tell he was digging the crowd and the crowd was digging him. Hey, I was even a part of the show for 10 seconds!

"Sluts" OK, "Hos" Not

2007-04-12T12:05:00.000-04:00

So, the Don Imus fallout and subsequent press coverage continues yet another day. But today I am not upset about it only because it led me to this article, which made me laugh out loud. Is it bad that I kinda want to meet former MSNBC anchor Michael Savage after reading this?

Minor Movie Character Hall of Fame - Round 2

2007-04-12T10:44:00.000-04:00

Valeria Andrews plays Wendy in Just Married. She is remembered for uttering the lines, "Oh...My...God! OHMYGODILOVETHISSONG!" and "That was the longest freaking piss in Italian history." Thank you Valeria for your contribution to film history.

So far we have the character of Wendy in Just Married and Spider in School of Rock in our Minor Movie Character Hall of Fame. Which is a better pick? Which character contributed more in making the movie better? Let me know in the comments section.