Best Music of the Decade

For the past few months I have been thinking long and hard about this list. I've added songs, deleted songs, changed my own rules for the list and so on. Music is a huge part of my life and I often identify certain events in my life with a song. This list is my way of reflecting upon the music that helped shape my decade.

For a lot of the artists mentioned, I could have listed whole albums and been okay with my decision. I included honorable mention next to some of the songs to show that those songs could just have easily been on my list - but how interesting would a list full of David Gray, Coldplay, Sheryl Crow and the Dixie Chicks really be?

After reading this list, please tell me what I left out.

50 - La Cienega Just Smiled - Ryan Adams
49 - Van Lear Rose - Loretta Lynn
48 - I Always Liked That Best - Cyndi Thomson
47 - What It Feels Like For A Girl - Madonna
46 - Feels Like Today - Rascal Flatts
45 - Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
44 - Paris - Faith Hill (Honorable Mention: Where Are You Christmas - yes, I'm serious)
43 - Wait My Turn - Moses Mayfield
42 - California - Rufus Wainwright
41 - Cable Car - The Fray
40 - Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
39 - Daughters - John Mayer
38 - I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack
37 - Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
36 - You're Beautiful - James Blunt
35 - Forever and For Always - Shania Twain
34 - Ms. Jackson - OutKast
33 - Nothing Left to Lose - Mat Kearney
32 - I Don't Want To Be - Gavin DeGraw
31 - What Was I Thinkin' - Dierks Bentley
30 - Safe and Sound - Sheryl Crow (Honorable Mention: Soak Up the Sun, Good Is Good)
29 - Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
28 - What Goes Around - Justin Timberlake
27 - I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
26 - Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani
25 - If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
24 - Crystal Village - Pete Yorn (Honorable Mention: Ice Age)
23 - This Love - Maroon 5
22 - Grace Kelly - MIKA
21 - When You're On Top - The Wallflowers
20 - Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
19 - Paper Planes - M.I.A.
18 - Lose Yourself - Eminem
17 - Jolene - Ray LaMontagne (Honorable Mention: Let It Be Me)
16 - Things Have Changed - Bob Dylan (Honorable Mention: Mississippi)
15 - Hey Ya - OutKast
14 - Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
13 - Travelin' Soldier - Dixie Chicks (Honorable Mention: Not Ready To Make Nice)
12 - Babylon - David Gray (Honorable Mention: Nemesis)
11 - Umbrella - Rhianna
10 - I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
9 - Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
8 - Irreplaceable - Beyonce
7 - Don't Know Why - Norah Jones
6 - Mr. Brightside - The Killers (Honorable Mention: All These Things That I've Done)
5 - Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
4 - My City of Ruins - Bruce Springsteen
3 - Walk On - U2 (Honorable Mention: Beautiful Day)
2 - Float On - Modest Mouse
1 - Viva la Vida - Coldplay (Honorable Mention: Yellow, Clocks, In My Place, The Scientist)

Sharing new material

I've been doing some writing lately and finally have something that I think is worth posting. Here's some lyrics to a song that I'm currently writing music for. I hope to keep the creative juices flowing long enough to get this recorded ... we'll see.

Denver (Key of E - 3/4)

In pitch black
Lost on a lonely back road
I changed plans
And kept moving on, who knows
What that sleepy town might have had in store

For a wide-eyed
Hungry, young soul at a time
When my dreams
Like the air that I breathed
Supplied and fueled the need
To find something more

I never did at the time
But I can’t help it now

Looking back
In no time at all
I think of those days
And I can’t remember
Looking back
I wish I’d have stopped
To see what I could
But in no time at all
I was hours past Denver
And kept moving on

In pitch black
Wishing I could turn back time
I toss and turn
In the middle of my prime
I passed up the chance
To do something undone

I was moving so fast
I couldn’t see what I missed

Looking back
In no time at all
I think of those days
And I can’t remember
Looking back
I wish I’d have stopped
To see what I could
But in no time at all
I was decades past Denver
And kept moving on

In no time at all
Keep moving on
And in no time at all
You’ll keep moving on
‘til in no time at all
Your life will be gone

Looking back
In no time at all
I think of those days
And I can’t remember
Looking back
You’ll wish you slowed down
And taken it in
To feel the surrender

In pitch black
Lost on a lonely back road
I changed plans

And the Grammy Goes To ...

After reading this article, I think it's safe to predict that Elvis Costello's Secret, Profane & Sugarcane album will at the very least be nominated for Album of the Year at the 2010 Grammy Awards and will most likely be the "shocking" and "surprising" winner that no one saw coming. Just read the following quote and tell me this album is not a Grammy-voter's wet dream:

Ten of the album's tracks are new Costello compositions, including two written with Burnett (That's Grammy award winning producer T Bone Burnett - producer of last year's winning album "Raising Sand" and the "O Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack, which won in 2002). One song, " I Felt The Chill," was written by Costello and Loretta Lynn, while two of the album's tracks -- "Hidden Same" and "Boom Chicka Boom -- were originally written by Costello for Johnny Cash.

You heard it here first folks. Sorry U2, you're not winning this year.

"Crazy woman meets Scandinavian man, calls him an alien and makes the news 20 years later"

How this story made it to the front page of CNN online is beyond me. I guess I should call the news and tell them about that one time I found my dorm house cleaner rummaging through the dumpster and how I was terrified and convinced that she was from another planet.

I wonder if CNN was in print, whether or not this would be a story worth telling.

WEHT - Cyndi Thompson

I'm debuting a new feature on my blog called, "What Ever Happened To ..." where I will profile a musician, artist, actor, athlete or anyone else that has fallen off the radar that I wish would come back. Why am I doing this? Well, mainly because I feel like it. I understand that this blog gets very little readership and that I am probably writing this for myself, but on the off chance that someone is reading this, especially someone connected to some of the artists that I am profiling, maybe I will somehow be credited for their comeback. Then, I shall have the last laugh ... mwahhahahaha mwahhahaha, okay enough. On to the first WEHT profile.

So, WEHT Cyndi Thompson? In case you don't know, Cyndi Thompson released possibly the best debut album by a country female with 2001's My World. With songs like What I Really Meant to Say, I Always Liked That Best and If You Were Mine, Thompson showed that she had an unmatched ability to make every word sound sexy as hell and write some pretty damn good songs.

After about a year on the charts Thompson wrote an open letter to her label and her fans saying that she was walking away from the recording business due to the overwhelming pressures of the industry. Who knows what really happened, but about a year ago I read that she was back on Capitol Nashville's roster only to very recently find out that she has again been dropped. Doesn't Nashville understand that there are people, especially in Southern Maryland, who are eagerly awaiting the return of Cyndi Thompson to the industry, if for no other reason than to stare at the album cover and the subsequent pictures inside? All kidding aside, Thompson's My World is one of my favorite albums of the decade and I can't wait until the day she decides to come back and release another one.

It looks like there is some good news on the horizon. Cyndi Thompson has recently started a Twitter account and there is some recent activity on her MySpace page, including a new song! In fact, there's some chatter about a new album in the spring. I'll believe it when I see it, but maybe the first WEHT profile will turn into a TGTRNTBADTMAC - thank God they read Not Their Blog and decided to make a comeback ... duh.

On Work and Buildings

I am finding it necessary to discuss the conditions in which I work in order to paint a very realistic picture of what it’s like to be employed at the administrative offices of a public school system. This is not me complaining, because Lord knows I’m happy to have a stable job that I enjoy (most of the time) in these economic times. Instead, this is an agenda-free glimpse into my daytime life.

Really what I want to discuss is the building that I work in. The more and more I think about it, the more ridiculous it is. I literally work in a two-story building with only one other person, who is often out shooting video at our schools, thus leaving me alone for a majority of the day. I used to work in a building across the street where there are at least one hundred employees. After a year and a half, everyone still thinks I work in that building. They are surprised when they see that my old desk is occupied by someone else and they often say how they are jealous that I am in my “new” building. If only they knew …

The building used to be a government bomb shelter/testing facility and I’ve heard rumors that unmarked cars still visit the site regularly to “take readings” and “acquire data” from the humongous radio tower infested with blackbirds next to the building. I was also informed when I moved over here that there is a room upstairs with a large shaft that connects to a tunnel that at one point splits into two tunnels and “goes on forever.” All of this was said in a, “Can you believe it’s now an office building that you’ll be working in permanently?” type of way. No, quite frankly … I can’t believe it. The previous occupant of the building was the manager of our school system’s Indian education program/museum, who was released from the system after it was discovered that she was using the building as her own personal daycare facility. There’s really no point to this fact, other than I thought it to be a humorous little tid-bit.

Sometimes we are graced by the presence of a large group that meets upstairs. Now, I’m not sure what this group of supposed school system employees actually meets about, but I am normally subject to frequent banging, raucous laughter and the occasional echoed belch whenever they are here. Occasionally, people stumble into the office and ask if this is where they “pick up their gun” or “get their uniform.” I know you all are logically thinking that maybe they have this building confused with the police barracks close by, but I assure you, that is not the case. When my co-worker is here, we often just look at each other in sheer disbelief.

Lately, we’ve had the pleasure of having to walk to a different building to go to the bathroom because they are replacing all of the toilets and stalls in the building. I’m actually not too upset about this seeing as how our toilets were a puke/mustard/brown color with permanent brown “stains” smeared on the stall walls. But, it’s no picnic walking outside to go to the bathroom in 20-degree windy weather.

The whole reason why I moved over into this building was because the school system put money into converting several rooms into a television studio. That’s all well and good, but when I told the maintenance guys that studios are usually dark, they took me way too literally and painted every possible nook and cranny black. They also gave me only two extremely dim lights to light the entire room, failing to realize that its not customary behavior to always keep big, hot studio lights on for everyday lighting needs, like say when you’re trying to position a set piece or just tidy up the space. So I’m often left with massive pit stains in my nice shirt and tie and an attractive sweaty forehead when I need to do work in the pitch black, windowless studio. And I can’t imagine what the electricity bill is like over here.

I used to have coffee every morning in my old office. It wasn’t the greatest, but it did the trick. Someone from the old office was nice enough to give me a coffee pot when I moved over to this building. It was a very nice gesture, but in reality the coffee pot is a constant reminder that we can’t make coffee over here because the water has an orangish tint to it and tastes like what I think volcano mist would taste like. They also don’t deliver cases of Dasani bottled water over here like they do in my old office. But that’s ok, occasionally the soda machine that takes dollars only – no change – decides to work properly.

Like I said, I’m not complaining, simply stating the facts of my glamorous work conditions. If you ever catch yourself thinking, “I can’t take this cube for one more minute,” just remember your old pal Steven and try to imagine me sitting alone in this pitch-black former bomb shelter drinking water that I brought from home denying someone their right to pick up their gun.

Best Music of 2008

I can't believe it's time once again for a year-end best of list. Time sure does fly. A lot happened in 2008 - historic election, a deepening recession, Britney's supposed comeback - and the list goes on. Whatever you feel about this past year, I think we can all agree that a lot of great music was made. The following are my favorites of the year.

Albums:

10) Robert Plant and Allison Krauss, Raising Sand - I bought this album, not knowing what to expect, after hearing "Killing the Blues" on JCPenney ads early on in the year. My favorites turned out to be "Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us" and "Please Read the Letter." Krauss has the voice of an angel and compliments Plant's gruff vocals and raw style.


9) John Mayer, Where the Light Is (Live) - I'm a huge Mayer fan and have been since his debut album. While this live set lacks some of his earlier work, it does a good job of capturing the energy and true musicianship that Mayer brings to the table. The nine-minute version of "Gravity" alone makes this an album worth remembering.


8) Taylor Swift, Fearless - It's no secret that I have some qualms with Swift, especially when it comes to live vocals, but this album is full of great songwriting and catchy hooks. Some of the lyrics are a little trite, but credit her for writing or co-writing every track on the album and remember, she is only eighteen. "White Horse," "Fifteen" and "The Best Day" are among my favorites on this album.


7) Flight of the Conchords, Flight of the Conchords - So, I'm cheating a little on this pick because I didn't actually buy the album, but I've seen all of the episodes of this duo's show on HBO, own the DVDs and watched as many of the live concerts on YouTube to know that the songs are absolutely hilarious. All must bow down to the awesomeness of "Bowie," "Mutha'uckas" and "Business Time." That's why they call them business socks, ya know.


6) Jason Mraz, We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things - I was so happy to hear that Mraz would be releasing his third studio album this year, though a little disappointed that his first single was a re-recording of a B-side from his so-so sophomore effort. But the new "I'm Yours" worked, and actually seemed even more relevant since he'd been out of the spotlight for a while. It also brought some freshness and relevance back to the vocally gifted singer-songwriter. Check out "A Beautiful Mess," "Details in the Fabric" and "If It Kills Me" if you have some time.


5) Gavin DeGraw, Gavin DeGraw - I have some odd hangup when an artist (other than Sheryl Crow) self-titles any album other than their first. I don't know why and I can't explain it - it just irritates me. But I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked this album. Like his first, this collection can be listened to and enjoyed straight through. "In Love With A Girl" got me to buy the album, but "Let It Go" kept me listening for months.


4) The Killers, Day and Age - The Killers are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands. Lead singer Brandon Flowers is definitely quirky, especially while performing, but that quirkiness does the band well on odd, but extremely catchy tunes like "Spaceman" and "I Can't Stay." I'm particularly fond of "This Is Your Life" and the hit single "Human".


3) Sheryl Crow, Detours - I'm a little surprised with myself that I didn't automatically catapult this album to the top of my list simply because of the Crow pedigree. My one qualm with the album is that it feels like two separate albums - the first half being overly political and the second half quietly introspective. All of the songs are great and the performance on tracks like "Diamond Ring" and "Make It Go Away (Radiation Song)" will break your heart. I would love it if Sheryl would throw her pop sensibilities out the window and make a true grungy rock record next go around.


2) Kings of Leon, Only by the Night - I had never heard of this band until their September 20 performance on Saturday Night Live. I loved what I heard and bought their new album days later. I love this album! It's quiet, but loud, familiarly melodic, but unexpected and full of some great (and naughty!) lyrics ("Your sex is on fire. Consumed with what's to transpire"). "Use Somebody" and "Revelry" are my personal favs. I can't wait to explore their earlier work in the year to come.


1) Coldplay, Viva la Vida - I just don't know what to say about this album other than it's awesome and you should be listening from start to finish once a day like I've been since purchasing it in June. In addition to this album, Coldplay also released the "Prospeckt's March" EP a few weeks ago, which delivers alternative versions to some of the tracks on Viva la Vida and a few others that didn't make the album cut ("Glass of Water!"). This is a fully realized concept album that will surely go down as one of the band's best career achievements. I'll certainly be routing for them when the "Album of the Year" category is announced at this year's Grammy Awards broadcast.

Favorite Singles (in no particular order):

Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis
In Love With A Girl, Gavin DeGraw
Shattered, O.A.R.
Human, The Killers
Live Your Life, TI Featuring Rhianna
I'm Yours, Jason Mraz
Chasing Pavements, Adele
Stop and Stare, One Republic
Broken, Lifehouse
Viva la Vida, Coldplay
Love Remains the Same, Gavin Rossdale
Last Name, Carrie Underwood
You're Gonna Miss This, Trace Adkins
Sweet and Low, Augustana
Nine in the Afternooon, Panic at the Disco

Happy or Scared?

Wait ... did Barack Obama just get elected president or did Godzilla attack the city of Chicago? You decide.

Ka-Ching! ... Not

I will be the first to admit that I know very little about money. I've taken the advice of many and invested in 401K and 403B plans, but in all honesty, I have no idea what they are. I just know what they are supposed to do for me in the future.

What I am smart enough to grasp, however, is that this most recent financial crisis is absolutely maddening. Two days ago both presidential candidates opposed any sort of government bailout of financial giant AIG. By the end of that day, when news was announced that the government was pumping almost $600 billion to bailout AIG, both candidates changed their tune, saying that it was necessary in order for our financial system to survive.

This morning news came that the government is also going to assume almost $500 billion dollars in bad bank debt, which was created when banks practically started giving away mortgages like candy. If you're keeping tabs here, that's $1.1 TRILLION dollars that the tax payers -- yes, that's you and me -- must now pay. Math proof time -- $1.1 trillion divided by roughly 301 million Americans equals about $3,650 extra that we are going to have to pay in taxes to clean up Wall Street's mess. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have $3,650 just sitting around. How does the government suggest we pay this when gas prices are at record levels, the price to heat and cool our homes keeps rising, a gallon of milk is $4.50, and employers can't even promise to keep up with the COLA - or that you will even have a job next year - due to budget cuts?

This whole system just doesn't make any sense to me - and I consider myself a pretty smart person. Is there anyone in our government looking out for the average American? All I know is that a relocation to Switzerland is looking more and more appealing.

Imaginationland wins an Emmy!

The minute I saw this year's Emmy nominations, I was hoping and praying for the moment when I would hear that Imaginationland, Trey Parker and Matt Stone's brilliant South Park trilogy, was an Emmy winner. Well, that day is finally here. If you haven't seen these three South Park episodes, stop reading this immediately and go do yourself a favor and watch them!

I got the news from this article, which contains quite possibly the best sentence I've ever read;

Our congratulations go out to Matt and Trey and the entire South Park team for their win for the "Imaginationland" episode, which at press time marks the first time in Emmy history an award was given to a storyline involving one character placing another character's balls in his mouth.

Now, don't you want to watch that?

This is my life

The following is a real depiction of my everyday life:

Me: "So, after all the music I said I wanted to buy on iTunes I just ended up buying Hanson."

Wife: [With quite possibly the biggest look of disappointment I've ever seen on her face] "Babe."

Me: "What? I know, I know...But I mean, just listen."

Wife: [Walking out of the door] Goodnight.

Me: "I can't help it. I'm a fan and I'm not going to be ashamed."

Now, I'm just sitting here alone listening to Hanson. What's wrong with me?

Officially Old

I realized tonight a very sad truth that I am no longer young. I suppose one could make the argument that the fact that I'm attempting to "live-blog" the MTV VMA Awards says something about my youth, but what's more telling is that I literally do not understand anything that is happening on this show!

Let's start with the host, Russel Brand. Who is he and why is he hosting this show? All I can say as I watch this show on TV is, "What is he saying?" or "Wow, this guy is saying some really inappropriate stuff about the Jonas Brothers and Madonna." The fact that I'm slightly offended by his attempt at humor is clue #1 that I am getting older.

Then there's the aforementioned Jonas Brothers. I don't really understand why they are famous, though, this is coming from someone who's been a Hanson fan for years. This means that I am being hypocritical just because a younger generation finds the appeal in something I don't and I'm criticizing something simply because I don't understand it, like parents in the 80s criticized hair bands or Miami Vice (thank you Youth and the Media classes at Ithaca). This is clue #2 that I'm getting older.

I consider myself a lover of all music. While rap isn't exactly my favorite music, I can appreciate some of it. Yet clue #3 that I'm getting old is that as Lil Wayne or Young Jeezy (they're both the same, right?) was performing all I could think was, "This is just noise," in the same voice my grandma would say it when I was listening to the Lion King soundtrack.

But, I don't feel so bad about all of this, honestly. See, as I write this, Slash just took the stage to present an award and my lovely wife said, "Is Slash still relevant? I mean, what's up with that hat?" Years ago we probably would have been all over that sh**. Now, we're just two old geezers who need to get to bed because it's approaching 10:15 p.m.

Note: Before I could save and post this, Pink took the stage to perform her new song, So What. The final clue that I'm not as young as I once was is that I thought to myself, "Hmm, I could get into this song," but then changed my mind after she stuck her tongue out and made a fart noise at the end of her song. Apparently, I found that wildly inappropriate.

Laughed Until I Cried

I remember being one of the only people in middle and high school who thought Norm McDonald (of SNL fame) was funny. I would quote his David Letterman impressions with my friend Nikki ("Uhhh, ya got any gum?") for hours. I dare you to listen to "Tex Hooper" from his CD Ridiculous and not laugh out loud.

Well, apparently, the following series of video from Bob Sagat's Comedy Central Roast proves that I'm still among a very small group of people who think he's hilarious. I think the other comedians up on stage get the joke, as well as some savvy audience members. But what's even more humorous is the uncomfortable awkwardness felt by many in the room.

If you watch this and can't contain your laughter at least once, we should really be hanging out more.

Me, Yearbooked

Through the most amazing piece of web programming ever, I was able to yearbook myself through time. Some of these images almost made me pee my pants, and one is eerily scary to one of my dad's yearbook photos. I apologize in advance for any nightmares the following images may create.

1952
1960
1970
198019881998
2000

I'm not sure why I ballooned in '98, but luckily I laid off the ham sandwiches long enough to have a decent picture in 2000. Please yearbook yourself and share it in the comments. I may need a good laugh while I'm at work.

My top 10 things about Los Angeles

I recently visited the cozy little town of Los Angeles and so many wonderful things happened that I felt it necessary to share the top 10 reasons why I love L.A. Think of this post as you would a Media McNuggets post, but replace media with Los Angeles. And begin...

10) The Elephant Bar is in L.A. and is home to what the wife and I like to call, "the big f*cking brownie." Enough said.

9) Where else can you see Kal Penn enjoying a light lunch outside?

8) Apparently Fantastic Sams is the most popular place for haircuts and everyone in L.A. knows it. What a crazy town!

7) The Coffee Bean is cooler than Starbucks, however, it won't be a true battle until Dunkin Donuts increases their presence in the city of angels. Seriously, where are all of the Dunkin Donuts?

6) Pebbles lives in L.A. and makes phone calls like this..."Mommy, I've been watching Cast Away on TBS all day and I can't find the clicker. Please come home. Love, Pebbles."

5) No one actually works at the Wendy's in Silver Lake, CA...and no one seems to care! Luckily Arby's has two employees to make up for it.

4) No matter how many times you've seen it, the Hollywood sign is still exciting, even if there is an ugly tower right next to it.

3) Just sitting on the beach can be more entertaining than a movie, especially when you see cavemen children throwing sand at and spearing birds, two grown men "wrestle" each other for an hour in the ocean and a flock of seagulls annihilate a bag of Frito's.

2) The Rachos Las Lomas exists and is a beautiful place to have a wedding. If only the wild birds and growling Bengal Tigers would be quite long enough to let the bridal party finish their speeches. As Stephanie Tanner would say, "How rude!"

1) Somewhere on this page is the name of a Martian who traveled to Earth during the big bang explosion/a living, breathing Tom-Tom navigation system posing as a narrator of the Griffith Observatory's Centered In the Universe planetarium show. "Welcome to your hooooooome."

My trip to L.A. was truly bananas!

Follow me on Twitter

I'm trying out some new (well, new to me) technologies and I want you to join me! Follow me on Twitter as I provide short updates on what I'm doing during the day.

What's the point of this, you ask? Well, there really is no point other than it's a fun way to know what I'm doing. When I need a break from work, I'll post. When I'm on my way home from work and I think of something funny, I'll post, via text. When I'm taking a twosie and I have my cell phone near me, I just might post! I'll still be blogging when I have the time, but my Twitter feed just might be the perfect thing to tide you over between posts. Pretty soon, I'll own the Internets!

Leave Me Alone, Please

On behalf of my wife and I, This post is for all of those waitresses and waiters out there, especially at The Olive Garden, who too frequently visit our table while we are eating to see how we are doing and if we need anything else. Trust me when I say that we are fine and if we are in dire need of something, one of us will track you down the next time you walk by. If we didn't need a new soda or extra cheese on our Tour of Italy or shrimp fettuccine two minutes ago, odds are we are not going to need it now. I find it extremely frustrating when I am trying to have a pleasant conversation with my wife and I am continuously interrupted with, "Is your food okay?" Do you really have that little confidence in your food that you must ask repeatedly if we are enjoying it? Should I be worried about my food for some reason? Did it fall on the floor or is it laced with some sort of narcotic? If so, then we have a whole other issue that needs to be addressed. I'm fine! Leave me alone, please, and let me and my wife eat in peace. Thank you.

Oh, one more thing. We would like you to visit our table at the end of the meal to give us our check so we can leave and finish our errands. See, we sort of expected you to be visiting our table every minute on the minute, so when you disappear for 15 minutes after we are done eating, we get a little frustrated. To summarize, come less often during the meal unless you see that we need something - in that case just bring it and don't feel the need to converse with us - and come more often at the end of the meal to get our plates off of the table and give us our check. Geesh!

UPDATE: Dear Olive Garden waitress, If you belong to this group, please disregard this open letter of hatred and accept my sincere apologies.

UPDATE #2: Boy, did I have some spelling errors in that post. They have been corrected. I hope this doesn't hurt my street cred with the literary circle in academia.

10 Piece Media McNuggets - They're Baaaaaack

By popular demand (ahem...Chris) the Media McNuggets portion of this blog has returned. Savor every bite because, like the McRib, who knows when they will return.

10. Budget cuts forcing you to cut back at the office? Just be glad you don't work at the following office:
9. Don't you just hate it when you are almost blinded by a defective thong? The following quote pretty much sums up this story: “I was putting on my underwear from Victoria’s Secret, and the metal popped into my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That’s what happened.” Riveting.

8. This list of 100 new classic movies of the last 25 years was a pretty good read, though I'm disturbed that Forrest Gump and American Beauty, two of my favorite movies from the 90's, are absent from the list. I think the editors at Entertainment Weekly are forgetting that Forrest Gump was the Oscar winner for best picture over their number one choice.

7. So, a whole bunch of girls at a high school in Massachusetts made a pact to get pregnant so they could raise their children together. Another reason why Juno is ruining our society.

6. I try to resist the temptation to blog about Britney Spears, but when a picture like this exists in the world, how can you not?

5. Something about the following animated GIF is out of place, but I can't quite put my finger on it.


4. I could probably fill this entire list with SNL Digital Shorts. In case you missed it, here's one from earlier this season that made me laugh. Fred and Sharon would be so proud.

3. This is for all of the men out there. I began crying with laughter after number 9 and it just kept going after that.

2. The trailer for Australia starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman looks amazing. Let's hope it's more like Moulin Rouge in style than Pearl Harbor.

and the #1 McNugget is...

1. Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Do yourself a favor and buy this album. It's a huge step forward for the band, as if they needed to take another step forward. If you can't afford the whole album, download Lost!, Yes, Lovers In Japan and Strawberry Swing (assuming of course that you've already purchased their most successful single Viva la Vida.) Since I can't link to the album for your listening enjoyment, how about the Sonic ad for Mac?

That's all for this week. Maybe next week the McNuggets will return meatier and juicier than ever.

The Other U.S. Open

When I think of the U.S. Open, I immediately and only think of the obvious tennis tournament held in late August in Queens, NY. You know, the one Roger Federer has won for the past four years? Well, out of complete boredom and perhaps because of all of the golf-themed Father's Day cards I was perusing the other day, I tuned into the U.S. Open golf tournament for the first extended period of time in my life and I have to say I enjoyed it.

After a while I started getting just as excited as I do during tennis tournaments. Of course, I know just enough about golf to understand and enjoy what I am watching and who doesn't know about the legend of Tiger Woods? I've willingly tuned into some tournaments to watch a little of the action, but it was never as exciting to me as it was last night.

Tiger's back nine play on Saturday night seemed nothing short of mastery. Battling an injured knee and tee shots deep in the rough, Tiger's "comeback" started to reminded me of Pete Sampras' epic battle with Alex Corretja in the 1996 U.S. Open. After hearing the roar of the fans when Tiger eagled hole 13, it was impossible not to feel excited. I even started thinking that I may need to start taking some golf lessons so I can enjoy the game more. Maybe for the time being I will just try to master Wii Golf.

I always wondered why Father's Day and golf seemed so synonymous - now because of the U.S. Open tournament, I understand.

The Forgotten Art of the Transition

This video is just too damn funny. This guy must study the Ron Burgundy style of news reading, where he literally just reads everything on the teleprompter. I wish there was a follow up video of the next day at the office between the co-anchors.