Me, Yearbooked

Through the most amazing piece of web programming ever, I was able to yearbook myself through time. Some of these images almost made me pee my pants, and one is eerily scary to one of my dad's yearbook photos. I apologize in advance for any nightmares the following images may create.

1952
1960
1970
198019881998
2000

I'm not sure why I ballooned in '98, but luckily I laid off the ham sandwiches long enough to have a decent picture in 2000. Please yearbook yourself and share it in the comments. I may need a good laugh while I'm at work.

My top 10 things about Los Angeles

I recently visited the cozy little town of Los Angeles and so many wonderful things happened that I felt it necessary to share the top 10 reasons why I love L.A. Think of this post as you would a Media McNuggets post, but replace media with Los Angeles. And begin...

10) The Elephant Bar is in L.A. and is home to what the wife and I like to call, "the big f*cking brownie." Enough said.

9) Where else can you see Kal Penn enjoying a light lunch outside?

8) Apparently Fantastic Sams is the most popular place for haircuts and everyone in L.A. knows it. What a crazy town!

7) The Coffee Bean is cooler than Starbucks, however, it won't be a true battle until Dunkin Donuts increases their presence in the city of angels. Seriously, where are all of the Dunkin Donuts?

6) Pebbles lives in L.A. and makes phone calls like this..."Mommy, I've been watching Cast Away on TBS all day and I can't find the clicker. Please come home. Love, Pebbles."

5) No one actually works at the Wendy's in Silver Lake, CA...and no one seems to care! Luckily Arby's has two employees to make up for it.

4) No matter how many times you've seen it, the Hollywood sign is still exciting, even if there is an ugly tower right next to it.

3) Just sitting on the beach can be more entertaining than a movie, especially when you see cavemen children throwing sand at and spearing birds, two grown men "wrestle" each other for an hour in the ocean and a flock of seagulls annihilate a bag of Frito's.

2) The Rachos Las Lomas exists and is a beautiful place to have a wedding. If only the wild birds and growling Bengal Tigers would be quite long enough to let the bridal party finish their speeches. As Stephanie Tanner would say, "How rude!"

1) Somewhere on this page is the name of a Martian who traveled to Earth during the big bang explosion/a living, breathing Tom-Tom navigation system posing as a narrator of the Griffith Observatory's Centered In the Universe planetarium show. "Welcome to your hooooooome."

My trip to L.A. was truly bananas!

Follow me on Twitter

I'm trying out some new (well, new to me) technologies and I want you to join me! Follow me on Twitter as I provide short updates on what I'm doing during the day.

What's the point of this, you ask? Well, there really is no point other than it's a fun way to know what I'm doing. When I need a break from work, I'll post. When I'm on my way home from work and I think of something funny, I'll post, via text. When I'm taking a twosie and I have my cell phone near me, I just might post! I'll still be blogging when I have the time, but my Twitter feed just might be the perfect thing to tide you over between posts. Pretty soon, I'll own the Internets!

Leave Me Alone, Please

On behalf of my wife and I, This post is for all of those waitresses and waiters out there, especially at The Olive Garden, who too frequently visit our table while we are eating to see how we are doing and if we need anything else. Trust me when I say that we are fine and if we are in dire need of something, one of us will track you down the next time you walk by. If we didn't need a new soda or extra cheese on our Tour of Italy or shrimp fettuccine two minutes ago, odds are we are not going to need it now. I find it extremely frustrating when I am trying to have a pleasant conversation with my wife and I am continuously interrupted with, "Is your food okay?" Do you really have that little confidence in your food that you must ask repeatedly if we are enjoying it? Should I be worried about my food for some reason? Did it fall on the floor or is it laced with some sort of narcotic? If so, then we have a whole other issue that needs to be addressed. I'm fine! Leave me alone, please, and let me and my wife eat in peace. Thank you.

Oh, one more thing. We would like you to visit our table at the end of the meal to give us our check so we can leave and finish our errands. See, we sort of expected you to be visiting our table every minute on the minute, so when you disappear for 15 minutes after we are done eating, we get a little frustrated. To summarize, come less often during the meal unless you see that we need something - in that case just bring it and don't feel the need to converse with us - and come more often at the end of the meal to get our plates off of the table and give us our check. Geesh!

UPDATE: Dear Olive Garden waitress, If you belong to this group, please disregard this open letter of hatred and accept my sincere apologies.

UPDATE #2: Boy, did I have some spelling errors in that post. They have been corrected. I hope this doesn't hurt my street cred with the literary circle in academia.

10 Piece Media McNuggets - They're Baaaaaack

By popular demand (ahem...Chris) the Media McNuggets portion of this blog has returned. Savor every bite because, like the McRib, who knows when they will return.

10. Budget cuts forcing you to cut back at the office? Just be glad you don't work at the following office:
9. Don't you just hate it when you are almost blinded by a defective thong? The following quote pretty much sums up this story: “I was putting on my underwear from Victoria’s Secret, and the metal popped into my eye. It happened really quickly. I was in excruciating pain. I screamed. That’s what happened.” Riveting.

8. This list of 100 new classic movies of the last 25 years was a pretty good read, though I'm disturbed that Forrest Gump and American Beauty, two of my favorite movies from the 90's, are absent from the list. I think the editors at Entertainment Weekly are forgetting that Forrest Gump was the Oscar winner for best picture over their number one choice.

7. So, a whole bunch of girls at a high school in Massachusetts made a pact to get pregnant so they could raise their children together. Another reason why Juno is ruining our society.

6. I try to resist the temptation to blog about Britney Spears, but when a picture like this exists in the world, how can you not?

5. Something about the following animated GIF is out of place, but I can't quite put my finger on it.


4. I could probably fill this entire list with SNL Digital Shorts. In case you missed it, here's one from earlier this season that made me laugh. Fred and Sharon would be so proud.

3. This is for all of the men out there. I began crying with laughter after number 9 and it just kept going after that.

2. The trailer for Australia starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman looks amazing. Let's hope it's more like Moulin Rouge in style than Pearl Harbor.

and the #1 McNugget is...

1. Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Do yourself a favor and buy this album. It's a huge step forward for the band, as if they needed to take another step forward. If you can't afford the whole album, download Lost!, Yes, Lovers In Japan and Strawberry Swing (assuming of course that you've already purchased their most successful single Viva la Vida.) Since I can't link to the album for your listening enjoyment, how about the Sonic ad for Mac?

That's all for this week. Maybe next week the McNuggets will return meatier and juicier than ever.

The Other U.S. Open

When I think of the U.S. Open, I immediately and only think of the obvious tennis tournament held in late August in Queens, NY. You know, the one Roger Federer has won for the past four years? Well, out of complete boredom and perhaps because of all of the golf-themed Father's Day cards I was perusing the other day, I tuned into the U.S. Open golf tournament for the first extended period of time in my life and I have to say I enjoyed it.

After a while I started getting just as excited as I do during tennis tournaments. Of course, I know just enough about golf to understand and enjoy what I am watching and who doesn't know about the legend of Tiger Woods? I've willingly tuned into some tournaments to watch a little of the action, but it was never as exciting to me as it was last night.

Tiger's back nine play on Saturday night seemed nothing short of mastery. Battling an injured knee and tee shots deep in the rough, Tiger's "comeback" started to reminded me of Pete Sampras' epic battle with Alex Corretja in the 1996 U.S. Open. After hearing the roar of the fans when Tiger eagled hole 13, it was impossible not to feel excited. I even started thinking that I may need to start taking some golf lessons so I can enjoy the game more. Maybe for the time being I will just try to master Wii Golf.

I always wondered why Father's Day and golf seemed so synonymous - now because of the U.S. Open tournament, I understand.

The Forgotten Art of the Transition

This video is just too damn funny. This guy must study the Ron Burgundy style of news reading, where he literally just reads everything on the teleprompter. I wish there was a follow up video of the next day at the office between the co-anchors.