Steven's 10 Reasons - The Chicka edition

The following are Steven's 10 Reasons why I love Chick-fil-A:

1. They make really good chicken

2. I like waffle fries

3. They serve chicken biscuits for breakfast

4. They call their ice cream cones Icedream

5. Their milkshakes remind me of heaven

6. Their mascot is a freaked-out cow desperate not to be slaughtered by chains like McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King and others

7. The first 100 people in line at a Chick-fil-A restaurant grand opening win a free meal a week for an entire year

8. You can buy big platters of their nuggets and brownies and eat them at children's birthday parties (or have them cater your wedding)

9. They close on Sunday's to honor God -- Because God hates fast food

10. Pete calls it Chicka

This has been a presentation of "Steven's 10 Reasons"

"You Don't Want A Schrutebuck?"

Next time someone at your office does something special, nice or goes out of their way for you in any way, why not give them one of these. If they decline it, simple say, "You don't want a Schrutebuck?"

Of course, they might not need a Schrutebuck if they already have one of these, equal to, of course, a unicorn and a leprecaun

Chaos (It Could All Be So Different)

Another song...working on the music for it now.

It's about the butterfly effect and whether or not if one thing changed in history, if it would change everything (more specifically, if a butterfly flapped it's wings, would it set into motion a sequence of events different than what we know today). Let me know what you think...

Chaos (It Could All Be So Different)

If that one butterfly
All the way back in time
Had never flapped its wings
A different world it’d be
If one event was changed
Life wouldn’t be the same
And if that’s good or bad
I haven’t figured yet

But I do know one thing
The condition of current events
Given one minor change
It could all be so different

If I could travel back
To when I chose this path
I don’t know what I’d do
Leave it be or change the view
If I could rearrange
The pieces of that day
Would I still be the same
Would there be a today

Well I do know one thing
The condition of current events
Given one minor change
It could all be so different

Chaos or harmony
Something better, worse or in between
Blue skies or blinding rain
Something opposite or more of the same

Well I do know one thing
The condition of current events
Given one minor change
It could all be so different
It could all be so different
Would I want it to be different?

10 Piece Media McNuggets 5/18/07

Sorry it's been a while since the last Media McNuggets. They were undergoing lab testing to rid them of Trans-Fats. Let's get the list started.

10. I love this list of whacked-out TV shows. I have fond memories of staying up to watch Dinosaurs on ABC's TGIF line-up.

9. To light a fire under my ass and get my passport, my dad sent me this friendly reminder.

8. The Office was crazy good last night. Though not as hilarious as Andy floating down the river in a Sumo suit, the episode provided some great humor, romance, Ryan's WTF? moment and two big Jan cans! Catch up on their website.

7. One word...MacGruber!

6. I love stupid people!

5. In celebration of stupid people, here is a classic Price Is Right moment. Speaking of PIR, Bob Barker wraps up 50 years on TV in June. I remember summers as a kid when I was fat watching PIR and eating an entire medium cheese pizza by myself. I always did surprisingly well at guessing the food prices on that show.

4. The Price Is Right gets a double shout out on my blog today. I can't believe this lady has a new car. No wonder Barker's retiring.

3. Seems it's not just The Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune that attract stupid people. Check out these stupid people on Family Feud.

2. Something tells me this is staged. But it's so hilarious I had to post it.

And the #1 Media McNugget is...

1. It's a toss up between Ed Helms' Zombie character or Wicked Games, the story of a horny tri-pod. Both are on Will Ferrel's funnyordie.com

I also enjoyed seeing Blake make it to the finals this week on American Idol. Watch the most exciting performance of the show this season. Speaking of Blake, I'm also enjoying the Maroon 5 single, Makes Me Wonder, and John Mayer's The Village Sessions, an acoustic version of some of his best songs from his latest album Continuum.

Nighttime Conversations

They just keep getting better and better...

T: So every morning when I go outside there's a little bunny in our yard just sitting around.
S: Oh really?
T: Yeah, just a cute little bunny. Little bun bun. Cute as can be.
S: I better not come home and find you cheating on me with a bunny.
T: Please. Like you ever get home after me.
S: I love how that's the most improbable part of that statement for you.

What happened to network TV?

My blogging efforts failed to pay off for The Class. It's a goner. Dead. Failed.

I'm sad because it was a good premise and had promise. It was that show you could turn on and not have to think about what terrorist was threatening to kill Americans this week or why in the hell is a polar bear on a tropical island? It was brainless, yet smart comedy that made me laugh out loud at least once per episode. And it was Pete's favorite show too. Let us take a moment of silence for The Class.

On a similar note, what in the hell is happening to network TV? Why is 24 the absolute worst show this season? Last year nothing could touch it and now I count down the digital real-time clock until it can finally just be over. And the new shows coming out next year don't look that promising either.

First, why aren't networks picking up good comedies? It's really sad when Two and Half Men is the most watched comedy on TV. Really?! Second, what is WITH the premises for these new shows? Look at the descriptions for some of the shows coming out next year and shake your head in disbelief with me...

Cane, a sprawling saga about a Cuban-American family running a rum business in South Florida, starring Jimmy Smits, Hector Elizondo and Rita Moreno.

-- BORING! Who cares about a rum business?

Moonlight, about an "undead" private eye who protects the living instead of feeding on them, but has eyes for an ambitious reporter.

-- Umm, are we STILL making shows about vampires?

Cavemen, Geico's commercial pitchmen, are a metaphor for everyday discrimination as they live normal lives in Atlanta.

-- Commercial, funny. Sitcom? Really?!

Life, a cop drama about a detective returned to the force after being falsely imprisoned.

- Wow, that's original.

And the worst part of all of this, we've yet to hear what Fox is bringing to the table next year. I should really start reading books.

Dinner Conversations

Again, a conversation from an almost married couple at dinner time.

T: How are the meatballs?
S: Good. Want one?
T: No, I'm really full. Want some of my chicken cheesesteak?
S: Hmmm. No, I'm okay.
T: Are you sure? Here, eat this side.
S: What, like the butthole buttcrack of the sub?

--One minute later--

S: I thought you didn't want any meatballs
T: Well, they're really good. Eat some of my sub.
S: No, I'm okay.
T: Just eat the butthole buttcrack.

Bedtime Conversations

The following is a bedtime conversation between an almost married couple. It doesn't get much better than this...

S: How did I sleep last night?
T: I couldn't even tell you. I slept all the way up to my alarm going off last night.
S: Yeah, I don't think I moved once all night
T: Me either!
S: Okay, that's a lie, I know I moved a little
T: Yeah, I moved a lot too

This is how I know we're meant to be.

Smells so sweet

I really need to start reading The Onion more. While reading a hilarious story about The Office, I came across this story from four years ago about the Olsen twins. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

LAPD Discovers Hidden Deformed Olsen Triplet

LOS ANGELES-A ragged, misshapen girl was rescued from the squalid basement of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's residence.

Fw: Don't pump gas on May 15th

I received an interesting email today. I normally don't open forwards, but the topic of gas prices sparked my interest. I'm hesitant to think that something like this could work, but it certainly makes one wonder...


In April 1997, there was a "gas out" conducted nationwide in
protest of gas prices. Gasoline prices dropped 30 cents a gallon
overnight.

On May 15th 2007, all internet users are to not go to a gas station
in protest of high gas prices. Gas is now over $3.00 a gallon in most
places.

There are 73,000,000+ American members currently on the Internet network,
and the average car takes about 30 to 50 dollars to fill up.

If all users did not go to the pump on the 15th, it would take
$2,292,000,000.00 (that's almost 3 BILLION) out of the oil
companies pockets for just one day, so please do not go to the gas station
on May 15th and lets try to put a dent in the Middle Eastern oil industry
for at least one day.

Do you think this is possible?

This guy rocks!

The man below...

...is my new personal hero.

I don't know how many of you have actually been in a Verizon store or called Verizon customer service lately, but let me tell you, they SUCK!

Let me try to briefly explain my experiences with Verizon in the past 8 months. First, when I moved into my house, we thought it would be nice to try Verizon high-speed Internet instead of the more costly Comcast Cable Internet. We did not want a house phone, because, well let's face it, Tracey and I live in the modern age and who really needs a house phone anymore? Apparently this concept is foreign to Verizon. Phone battles turned into wars and eventually after three months of their services, we decided they sucked so much that it was worth it to pay more money for Comcast's reliable service.

Then there was the debacle of last week. My incredible fiance decided to buy me a new cell phone. We arrived at the Verizon Wireless store at 7 p.m. We picked out and bought the phone by 7:20 p.m. Because the people who sell you your phone are not competent enough to do a phone book transfer, we had to wait at the customer service line. We wait, and wait, and wait. Finally we are called up and ask a question about switching our plans only to find out that we can't switch plans without paying a huge fee. So then we ask if we can just do the phone book transfer. The "chipper" sales associate informs us that we have to put our name in at the Tech Support line. Annoyed, we enter our name and see that it shouldn't be so bad, because we are the second name on the list. Then it gets ugly, literally.

We had to wait over an hour and a half, listening to a lady who kinda looked like this...

...yell and scream at the service people about all of her problems. Instead of letting the service people try to fix her problem, she just kept talking, and talking, and...talking! Finally, 9:20 p.m. rolled around and we left the store, phone book transfer complete, two hours and twenty minutes later.

The irony in this whole situation is that in the amount of time it took us to wait, I could have just done a phone book transfer on my own.

This story might not have sounded very drastic, but keep in mind that Tracey was hungry during this whole ordeal. Now do you feel my pain?