Media McNuggets - Sorta

While it's not a list of 10, it is a list a 1, and that's better than none.

This video is hilarious. It just goes to show that Kanye West does have a sense of humor.

I could see this being a new trend in music videos. It's cheap, hilarious, and it actually makes you listen to the song more. Makes me wish I was older when Madonna's Like a Prayer video was released. I could have been a video superstar.

Voter's choice

You asked for it, and like any good pizza chain, I shall deliver! I share with you now my feelings on the express teller at my bank.

A normal person might think, "Hey, express teller! That means that I can do my banking business quickly in the convenience of my own car." Well apparently my bank is not run by normal people.

Allow me to set the scene. I get off work a little bit early one day. I see this as a grand opportunity to deposit some money that I've been meaning to deposit. I see the express teller lane sans cars in line, so I decide to partake in some express teller action. I fill out the deposit slip in the comfort of my air conditioned car and reach for the tube that gets sucked at the speed of light into the bank (note to self: this could be the early model of my life long dream to invent teleportation) only to notice that said tube is nowhere to be found.

Perplexed, I politely press the call button to inform the bank of this unfortunate circumstance. No answer. I press again. Without any apologies from the teller inside and a good minute to two minutes later, I hear the tube being sent my way. I insert the tube with my goodies and send it back to the teller. Mind you, at this point all I am waiting for is a receipt - a confirmation that my transaction has been completed.

Five minutes later...still waiting. Ten minutes later...still waiting. I decide to be "that guy" and press the call button until someone gets on the camera to explain to me what is going on. Finally, someone comes on and says, "Give me a few minutes while I take care of the line in here." And that's the precise moment I thought, "Something else for the blog."

If I would have known that I would have to wait for the line of people inside the bank to be serviced before the teller paid any attention to the express teller line, I would have just gone inside, thus defeating the purpose of an express teller! I also didn't appreciate the attitude of the teller who thought that I was being impatient after sitting in my car for 15 minutes, as if I should have known that express teller really means, slowest. teller. ever. Finally, I would like to virtually give the finger to all of those cars that gave me the finger for having to wait behind me to finish my express teller duties, only to grow impatient and speed off in a fury. I wasn't just waiting there for my health or to blow unnecessary car emissions into the air for fifteen minutes. I did have a purpose for being there.

In summary, beware of any sign that claims to be express. In reality, express really means "just as long as any other line and probably a little bit more annoying."

Pic of the day

I love the marketing campaign of the new Simpson's movie. With the Kwik-E-Mart 7-Eleven's and now my most favorite show getting Simpsonized...it can't get any better.

I'm still a little bit torn on whether or not to go see the movie though. I mean, I hardly watch the show anymore. If I can't bring myself to watch something that's free, am I really going to pay money to see a longer version of the show? I need some convincing.

Emmy's same old craptacular song and dance

It's the end of July, which can only mean one thing - The Emmy's announce their predictably boring list of nominees. Not that I disagree with them all, but it really is the same old list again and again with some minor rearranging of names and the inevitable addition of a useless category (this year's winner is "Special Class Program" whose standout nominee is Prince's Superbowl Halftime Show.)

I'll start out with a list of what the Emmy's got right this year...

- All of the Planet Earth nominations were deserved, especially for Cinematography (Tracey paid me to say that.)

- 30 Rock and the Office being nominated for outstanding comedy series, despite the lack of viewers. Also kudos to Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Rainn Wilson, Steve Carell, and Jenna Fischer for their acting nods. I even see that Fey was nominated for writing, which in my opinion, is the strongest part of the show.

- South Park's "Make Love, Not Warcraft" episode being recognized. It was definitely one of the best episodes of the season, if not the series.

- Resisting the urge to nominate the entire cast of Desperate Housewives in the best actress in a comedy series.

And now for what the academy failed to get right, again (and again...and again)

- I am dumbfounded that for a second year in a row Lost is not nominated for best drama. I'll admit that the beginning six episodes of this season were lackluster, but boy did the series get back on track and deliver hands down the best season finale this year. Is Boston Legal really better than Lost? I think no.

- The same list of lead actresses. Someone should do a study on how many times Mariska Hargitay, Patricia Arquette and Edie Falco have appeared as nominees simply because there aren't enough good roles for women on TV. Pick someone else, ANYONE else. I would have even settled for nominating Anna Nicole Smith for the drama that surrounded her death.

- Why must you nominate the entire cast of Grey's Anatomy in the supporting actress category? This wasn't even their best year. Pick the best one and leave spots for other shows. What about Hayden Panettiere? Her story line on Heroes saved the show in my opinion. Are there no good supporting actresses on ER? etc...

- I'm sorry Jack Bauer, you weren't the best actor this year and everyone knows it. Matthew Fox sure was good on Lost. They must have lost his tape.

- Why so much love for Dancing with the Stars? Doesn't anyone realize that it's the worst show? At least So You Think You Can Dance teaches the audience about dance and entertains us with different styles. Next year look for Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader to top this category. Ugh.

I could go on and on. Basically what I am saying is that Lost was awesome this year and the Emmys are still boring. Yawn.

My Crystal Ball

Tracey and I took a trip to the future and check out the picture we took at the Pimlico races...


...unfortunately, I let myself go just a little in the future and Tracey developed a frumpy sweater fetish. I also decided to go ahead and get some plastic surgery to get that butt chin that I've always wanted. I hope you enjoy the future as much as we did!

BB8 - Episode 3

Yes, I'm still writing about Big Brother. Get used to it!

Tuesday's episode was another quality show providing plenty of blog-worthy material.

Some high points:

1) Hands down, seeing the first America's Player assignment carried out. Eric was spot on with the Visine tears and dramatic story about an anorexic high school flame who broke his heart. My only complaint was with the editing. I wish I could have seen the whole story.

2) Joe immediately going to tell Nick that Jen is spreading the rumor that he tried to make out with her. The best moment was after Joe told he came back out and said, "Opps, I have a big mouth!" Maybe keeping him in the house won't be such a bad thing.

3) Jameka getting pissed during the power of veto competition that someone dumped her dirty laundry out all over her bed, while the rest of the house was in complete shambles. She was so annoyed that she put her clothes back in the bag, instead of playing the veto game.

And the low points...

1) Hearing Amber 1) cry every five seconds and 2) talk about God like he is a factor in this game. No, God did not put you up for eviction for a reason. I doubt God cares about Big Brother Season 8. He probably stopped watching after season 3. And if you're asking God for strength because your family is watching, it's probably not a good idea to announce yourself as a "total nympho" while flirting with Nick.

2) Noticing that Danielle is completely anorexic. It makes it really hard to watch the show. I hope she never loses a food competition because if she does, we may very well see the first reality show death.

3) Seeing Dustin's chest hair. It seems like he only brought one gray V-neck undershirt for the show. Someone should have told him that no one wears V-neck shirts anymore. Pity.

Stay tuned for Thursday's episode when we'll see who is the first house guest to go home. Personally, I hope it's Amber. She annoys me way more than Carol. CAAAAAAROL.

Five Consecutive Years!

Why is Roger Federer so awesome? Is it because he conquered his nerves and a title-hungry Spaniard named Rafa to win this year's Wimbledon? Is it because for the fifth year in a row he is the Wimbledon champion, tying Bjorn Borg's record? Is it because this was his 11th straight grand slam final? Is it because he has been in 13 career grand slam finals and has 11 grand slam titles? Is it because his last name ends in two consecutive er's? All of the above!

Watching Roger Federer play tennis is like watching Swan Lake at the best theater in the world. It's like staring for hours at the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. It's like eating Creme Brule at the place where Creme Brule was invented. I could watch him play for hours and still be excited about it up until the very end. I normally always route for the underdog, but until the day Federer retires, I will always be cheering him on.

In a way, he is the underdog -- the underdog champion. With so much tennis greatness preceding his reign (Laver, Borg, McEnroe, Conners, Agassi, Sampras), he's got so much against him to breakthrough to the top of tennis history. So many commentators say, "If he can do this or he can do that, than he'll be staking his claim as the greatest of all time." Of course, that commentary was during the French Open against clay-god Nadal, a match which Federer unfortunately lost. But they always leave out the accomplishments that this 25 year-old has already achieved (see above). If he ever can breakthrough and win the French, I believe everyone will be referring to him as "the greatest" rather than "among the greatest." Even if he fails to win the French, he'll still be the greatest in my eyes (sorry Sampras).

BB8 - Episode 2

Let the real drama begin. This season definitely has me excited, more so than any other Big Brother season, mainly because this year I get to blog about it.

Let's discuss some high moments:

1) Jen, the nanny, who had a nervous breakdown after the cast photos used to show who's been evicted from the house were revealed. She claimed the picture had "a shadow that looked like bags under her eyes, just not her bags...someone else's bags." Judge for yourself.

2) Jessica and just about everything she says. In reference to the "slop" the losing food-challenge team has to eat (which is oatmeal) she said, "It's really oaty"

3) The prospect of having Eric, America's Player, tell a house guest of America's choosing a made-up traumatic life story. I voted for Jessica because, well, she's dumb and probably gullible. Although how funny would it be to have Eric pour his heart out to one of the masculine guys in the house? Vote now if you dare.

And of course the low moments...

1) Kail already setting up a four-player alliance. Four horsemen anyone? It's already been done. See season 5.

2) Amber thinking that Kail wouldn't put her up for eviction just because they're both moms and, therefore, should have a mutual understanding. Earth to Amber, it's a game and you're rules are stupid.

3) Seeing so many commercials for Kid Nation and Pirate Master - two of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard of (which means I'm certain to be blogging about them in no time).

Is anyone else watching with me this season? Who'll be evicted? And why are Mike and Zach the same person?

My Guilty Pleasure: Big Brother

Ahhh, summer! Amid the hot dogs, pool parties and humidity is yet another growing summer staple -- Big Brother. I'm not afraid to admit my love for the show and you shouldn't be either. It's The Real World with even more conniving, back-stabbing, petty house mates. Who doesn't want to watch 14 wanna-be actors make complete asses of themselves on TV?

This season Big Brother adds another new twist to its laundry list of shocking plot turns (The Ex-Factor, Project DNA anyone?) - America's Player! Whereas the other twists were a little gimmicky, I think the America's Player idea is just genius and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

So watch the show this summer and afterwards, make a visit to this blog so we can discuss the genius that is Big Brother (and how we already want Joe off of the show.)

Let's Hear it for the Flapper

This picture just makes me laugh. He looks so naturally happy for having a flapper dress and an ankle monitoring bracelet on his leg. It really makes me miss 30 Rock. Can't wait for fall!