Friday, March 30, 2007

10 Piece Media McNuggets

I've altered my favorite things topic a tad and molded it into a new 10 Piece Media McNuggets roundup. Each week I'll try to post a new list of my top ten media moments of the week.

10. Another online fart video - what makes this funny is the encouraging adult behind the camera.

9. Pete's Junk - though nothing is posted, the excitement alone of seeing Pete's junk keeps me coming back.

8. Another Pete...Pete Yorn's blog. I saw his show a week ago at the 9:30 Club and I like his music more and more with each show I attend.

7. This website that allows viewers to save their favorite show from being canceled. If you don't know what to save, save The Class because it's funny and a good way to start off the workweek.

6. This George Lange photo slideshow. Tracey might enjoy something about halfway through.

5. Lost. Simply put, this show is back on track after a shaky start to season 3.

4. This week's South Park episode entitle "Snuke" - Check this site for repeats. They do a very nice 24 parody.

3. The Blades of Glory website - check out that peacock glove and view the trailer while you're at it

2. Discovery's Planet Earth - maybe it's because I have a new HDTV, but this show kept me glued to the TV all episode long. Who knew octopuses were so fascinating?

And my favorite Media McNugget this week...

1. A father's homecoming surprise to his son shown on the Today show. Even I got teary-eyed. You'll have to sit through an advertisement before the video starts.

My least favorite? Sanjaya's hair and the media coverage it's receiving. Aren't we fighting a war or something?

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I like to live on the edge....AHHHHHHHHH

I know I'm not alone when I say that if I hear the Ford Edge commercial one more time I will shoot myself in the face. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to extend edge into a two-syllable word, but I'd like to meet that person and tell them that, in fact, it was not a good idea. I could see how it might have been an okay idea if they wanted to rhyme their new word with ketchup, but they didn't, so again, a good idea it is not.

What other ads can't you stand? I've got "800-588-2300 Empire...Today!" and "Call 1-800-STEAMER, Stanley Steamer makes carpets cleaner" on my mind (I'm seeing a phone number trend). For all you New York readers, I know you can identify with the Fuccillo auto mall commercials (okay, it's huge, I get it). I'm also starting to hate the new Sprint ad where the guys are in Italy. Why does the one guy have food all over his face? I just don't get it and the more I see it the angrier I get. I thought the point of advertisements were to get you to like a product, not utterly loathe it.

(PS - while I was writing this Shirley rolled over on the floor and clear as day farted. That should be an advertisement)

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Two on Czarniak

Another first for Not Their Blog readers...my brother has embraced technology and decided he wants to write a blog with me. He loves blogs, and he understands them.

First, I explained to DJ that we needed to choose a topic. He immediately chose Lindsay Czarniak, NBC4 sports anchor extraordinaire.

Next, I explained to DJ that we needed to write something about the topic. He threw out some ideas, but I was noticing a trend. All of the things he wanted to write were variations of "She's hot" and "If she ever got bored and wanted to sit on my rod, I would let her." While that is certainly true and justifiable, I still felt we needed to say something more about why we decided to write about Lindsay (insert me saying, "DJ, but why is she hot?")

Finally, we got to something profound to say about Lindsay (kind of). We both decided that it is a really nice feeling to see an attractive woman excited about sports, delivering news about sports, and engaging in heartwarming sports stories every day at 6:50 p.m. We figured that, "only 15 percent of sports news anchors are women and only 15 percent of those women are hot...so basically, Lindsay Czarniak is one in a million." Good work Lindsay. We feel honored to spend ten minutes with you every night, fantasizing about what we'd do to you if you were actually in our living room instead of just on our TV.

Finally, I asked DJ to sum up his first blog experience. He said, "I don't like the fact that i's look like 1's."

Friday, March 16, 2007

...and then I don't feel so bad

These are a few of my favorite things this week:

TV:
I'd have to say the best thing I watched this week, besides the killer Duke/VCU game on Thursday, was Lost. The show has been trying my patience lately, but this week felt like old times with the Lost crew. I especially liked Claire's revealing back story.

My least favorite thing was watching Sanjaya Malakar butcher a Diana Ross song, though Ross herself did a pretty good job of butchering her own song on the results show.

Movies:
I only watched one movie this week, so my favorite would have to be Infamous, starring Toby Jones, Sandra Bullock and Daniel Craig. However, if I would have watched ten movies I still think this would be at the top. It was better than Capote (Infamous tells a similar story about Truman Capote) and, of course, has the infallible Sandra Bullock as Harper Lee.

Music:
Though I bought the Norah Jones, Corrine Bailey Rae and Daughtry albums last week and, therefore should be rocking out to these, I have to say that my favorite music this week was by Dierks Bentley. I'm really digging "Trying to Stop You're Leavin'" and "Hope For Me Yet"

Books:
I can't read.

Web:
It's a toss up between The Canadian Idol Farter and the Charles County Public Schools site. I'm going with CCPS since I just started back there this week and am happier than ever.

I'm thinking of making this a weekly thing, so let me know if you enjoy it and if you have anything to recommend.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Hold the Door

We've all been there before. We open a door and just before we walk through, we notice someone behind us. Because we're kind, we open the door and let that person pass. Suddenly a football team of people appear from behind the bushes, around the corner and from the sky all wanting YOU to hold the door open as they pass s l o w l y through.

Everyone has a door pet peeve. Personally, I hate it when I am right behind someone and they don't make an effort to keep the door open for me. Is it really that hard to just wait one extra second for me to grab the door from you? And, true, it's not that hard to just open up the door for myself, but it's the principle.

How about when someone decides to be nice and holds the door for you, but you are 100 yards away. You were content to lazily walk to the door, your attention focused on how nice of a day it is, but now some jackass is forcing you to hurry to the door to make it in time. In those times I like to slow my pace down even further and make eye contact with the door holder until the moment I step into the building. A full two minutes later their facial expression really sums up how both of us are feeling. It's hard to slam someone with good intensions, but honestly, if I'm more than five steps away from the door, don't worry about holding it for me.

The worst is going through a revolving door and not knowing when to jump in. When you finally do get in, the rush of trying to get in is still with you and you end up tripping and running into the glass. It's like you're a little kid trying to find the perfect moment to jump into double dutch and when you finally do jump in, you trip on the rope and skin your knees.

Here's a scientific experiment on appropriate door holding distances.

And here's Caroline Leslie to elaborate on door do's and don'ts. Man, is she a riot. Enjoy...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mystery of the black blue black


After years, yes...literally years, of wondering what in the hell those black and blue stickers I see on almost every car mean, I finally got the sense to look it up online. The stickers, or "black blue black" as I would often describe them to Tracey, are actually a police mourning band. They are typically placed on the personal vehicles of law enforcement to commemorate fallen officers, or just identify themselves with law enforcement. The theory is that the car decal became popular as a way to honor the fallen officers of 9/11. So, if you're like me and have spent many sleepless nights wondering why everyone in the world has those stickers on their car except you, you may sleep easy tonight.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Don't You Know

My goal in starting this blog was to write more in hopes of becoming inspired more often. I really hoped that just by writing simple blog entries, I would be propelled to write some really good, thought-provoking lyrics. I'm feeling good that today, for the first time in "Not Their Blog" history, I've got an original lyric to share with you guys. I'd love to hear how you all interpret the lyrics, so send me a comment or two. Enjoy...

Don’t You Know?

Take the clay from under your feet
And shape it ‘til it fits your needs
Then fire it up, let it burn
Make it so stiff it can never return
To what it used to be
Now you see me

Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?
Don’t you know the word sympathy?
Haven’t you heard when a man is down don’t kick him
Don’t you know that it’s been a long time
Since the last time I was out of my mind
But you’re doing the right things to send me back again
Don’t pretend you don’t know

Come sit with me a little while
Look in my eyes when I smile
Maybe you’ll see all of the things
I keep swallowing just to keep me sane
If you see me
Will you do the right thing?

Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?
Don’t you know the word sympathy?
Haven’t you heard when a man is down don’t kick him
Don’t you know that it’s been a long time
Since the last time I was out of my mind
But you’re doing the right things to send me back again
Don’t pretend you don’t know

It’s written all over my face
Maybe you can’t read
Please open up your hands and let go of me

Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?
Don’t you know the word sympathy?
Haven’t you heard when a man is down don’t kick him
Don’t you know that it’s been a long time
Since the last time I was out of my mind
But you’re doing the right things to send me back again
Don’t pretend
No, don’t pretend you don’t know
Let me go

Missing Cereal Toys

I went for a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning and for some reason I got sad. I couldn't identify where this sadness was coming from, then suddenly, like the feeling you have to poop after eating a greasy burrito, it came to me. I was missing those cheesy cereal toys that used to be hidden among the Pops, Charms and Pebbles.

What ever happened to those toys? It's not like they were anything special, because honestly, the only cereal "toy" I remotely remember "finding" was a slap bracelet. But remember how exciting it was to stick your entire arm down a big box of cereal upon first opening it and wiggling your hands around like you were doing some type of jazz hands routine, the suspense mounting with every passing second? Half of the cereal would spill all over the table, the box would be ripped down the side, but then...get it...get it...GOT IT! A troll to put on top of my pencil. Great. These days it seems like you have to collect 10 UPC codes, mail in a registration form and write it off on your taxes just to get a Suite Life of Zach and Cody charm bracelet.

I'm not sure how long ago they stopped putting toys in cereal -- I just don't eat cereal that often -- but I'm sure I know why. My guess is that some idiot sued a cereal company after "unexpectedly" finding a toy in their cereal bowl and almost chocking on it. How does that happen? It's not like cereal is SOOO good that you have to blindly shove it in your mouth like the Apocalypse is coming any minute. Wouldn't you realize you had a huge toy wrapped in plastic sitting on your spoon before you went to take a bite? Even more, wouldn't you realize it had fallen out of the box while you were pouring the cereal? In my opinion, it's really hard to mistake a Matchbox car for a Fruit Loop. I suppose my reasoning is only speculation , and therefore, I should not get angry about it.

Here's hoping that next time I grab for a box of Trix, a pretty picture that says, "Shrek Bobble Head Inside!" is plastered on the front of the box.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Hating on Gary Loudmouth

I walk into work, ten minutes early. Coffee's in hand, space heater's cranked to high. I sit down in my chair, login to the network and tell my friend/enemy the computer that I'm ready to start the day; ready to compute things; ready to go.

Everyone knows that in this media-rich, headline-crazed culture, "Ready to Go" actually means "Ready to get updated on the latest news and entertainment stories of the morning, maybe catch up on a blog or two and check three or four email accounts for anything important (MySpace comments, American Eagle coupons, eCards...)." And remember, I did come in ten minutes early to do all of this stuff. Okay, so maybe it takes me 15 or 20 minutes or two and a half hours to do all of this stuff. It's MY time. I alloted for it. If I have something to get done, I'll get it done. If I don't, let me waste my time reading about Britney's bald head, articles about the latest CD releases or who dropped out of Dancing with the Stars and why.

So, I navigate to one of my favorite blogs, Pop Candy, and quickly read some of the humorous anecdotes. From time to time one catches my eye and a link is included. I excitedly click the link to see what additional information I can learn about The Class's season finale, when to my horrifying shock, the site has been blocked. Slightly depressed, I check my MySpace page to see if anyone has left me a humorous comment and BAM!, blocked. Billboard.com, blocked; IMDB, blocked!!; People.com, BLOCKED?!?!

Some will inevitably make the argument that companies don't have the money to pay employees for checking the Internet for their favorite sites. I say BOLOGNA and here's why:

1) If companies truly had enough work coming in to keep their employees busy for nine hours straight, those employees need five-ten minute breaks to brainlessly browse the Internet.

2) Companies that block almost every entertainment or streaming media site are making their employees unhappy. Unhappy because they can't listen to Internet radio to get them through a hellish day; unhappy because a friend sends a link that everyone's been talking about all day and you can't watch it because it's blocked; and unhappy because it's just another case where "The Man" has control over everything and the Plebes are just slaving away at monotonous crap. An unhappy employee won't be loyal to the company, so the company is blowing it's money paying the salary for an employee who hates the company.

3) Who cares what sites your employees are looking at (except the obvious illegal and pornographic/offensive ones) during the day? If the employee is still getting his/her work done it shouldn't be an issue. If Internet browsing is causing an employee to not do their job, then fire them, but still give access to the employees who browse wisely, yet still manage to get their work done.

I guess that's the heart of the issue. Remember in school when the class was going to have a great Friday party for being good but on Thursday afternoon Gary Loudmouth had to keep harassing Stacey Shortandfat and ended up getting the party canceled for everyone? I hate Gary! One ignorant person who couldn't control himself had to ruin it for all of the responsible, well-intentioned people who could. If I could turn back time I would stand up in that class, tell Gary to shut his goddamn mouth, and send a MySpace comment to my mom that the Friday party is still on and we need to make 32 cupcakes, five of which would go directly to Stacey Shortandfat, pronto!

Thursday, March 1, 2007

This is how it works...

I've been meaning to post these lyrics for a while now, but every time I would think about it, I got distracted doing something else. The song is called "On the Radio" by Regina Spektor. I just thought the lyrics were so simple and so true. It's not often in today's musical climate that you hear a lyric and think, "That's really refreshing." That's exactly what I thought the first time I heard this song...hope you enjoy. (I'll only be posting the second verse of the song)

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again