Voter's choice

You asked for it, and like any good pizza chain, I shall deliver! I share with you now my feelings on the express teller at my bank.

A normal person might think, "Hey, express teller! That means that I can do my banking business quickly in the convenience of my own car." Well apparently my bank is not run by normal people.

Allow me to set the scene. I get off work a little bit early one day. I see this as a grand opportunity to deposit some money that I've been meaning to deposit. I see the express teller lane sans cars in line, so I decide to partake in some express teller action. I fill out the deposit slip in the comfort of my air conditioned car and reach for the tube that gets sucked at the speed of light into the bank (note to self: this could be the early model of my life long dream to invent teleportation) only to notice that said tube is nowhere to be found.

Perplexed, I politely press the call button to inform the bank of this unfortunate circumstance. No answer. I press again. Without any apologies from the teller inside and a good minute to two minutes later, I hear the tube being sent my way. I insert the tube with my goodies and send it back to the teller. Mind you, at this point all I am waiting for is a receipt - a confirmation that my transaction has been completed.

Five minutes later...still waiting. Ten minutes later...still waiting. I decide to be "that guy" and press the call button until someone gets on the camera to explain to me what is going on. Finally, someone comes on and says, "Give me a few minutes while I take care of the line in here." And that's the precise moment I thought, "Something else for the blog."

If I would have known that I would have to wait for the line of people inside the bank to be serviced before the teller paid any attention to the express teller line, I would have just gone inside, thus defeating the purpose of an express teller! I also didn't appreciate the attitude of the teller who thought that I was being impatient after sitting in my car for 15 minutes, as if I should have known that express teller really means, slowest. teller. ever. Finally, I would like to virtually give the finger to all of those cars that gave me the finger for having to wait behind me to finish my express teller duties, only to grow impatient and speed off in a fury. I wasn't just waiting there for my health or to blow unnecessary car emissions into the air for fifteen minutes. I did have a purpose for being there.

In summary, beware of any sign that claims to be express. In reality, express really means "just as long as any other line and probably a little bit more annoying."